TURNING FEAR INTO FUN!

Hello from Sunny L.A....

I'm writing to you as I fly above from warm and sunny LA. on my way to Salt Lake City, Utah to spend an amazing week at the Sundance Film Festival. What an exciting and exhilarating time for me as I meet so many new and wonderful people, explore new places and stretch myself far outside my comfort zone.

I've thought so often of all of you -- our growing EvolvingArts Family -- and pondered what I'd share this week in the My Cup of Chi newsletter. What aspects of these past few days would I choose to highlight? What tidbits of wisdom have I gained in the past several days? What lessons that I've embraced would you most likely find helpful for your own lives?... Honestly, there's far too much to write during this short flight. But let me begin with my continued amazement at the power of pushing through FEAR...

Fear. That's right. Fear. It's the pervasive feeling that keeps most of us stuck in place, creating the hamster-wheel momentumless spin through life that we all wish would stop, but are just too darn scared to do otherwise. But why is this? Why do we avoid living our dreams and embracing all of life's bounty? Why are we shivering in our britches? Just how bad could it be to "face our fears and do it anyway", as they say?

Reality is far different than the stubborn beliefs that are keeping us in our own unique holding patterns. Deep down, if we're brave enough to be bluntly honest with ourselves, we think that moving into our deepest fears would do us in, poof us into a puff of smoke, shriven us deep into the ground, or make us squeal and bolt for the door. It's these dramatic images and intense emotions that whisper "Stay where you are, play it safe, and everything will be just fine. No rockin' the boat today, baby -- it's a dangerous, dark world out there so stick with me kid, and things will all be fine".

Yet, as a representative of someone who's jumped off the cliff of the unknown a few times now, faced many of my GREATEST fears, and lived to tell the tale from the other side, I guarantee that little voice is a big, fat, GIANT liar. After this week I continue to see more and more clearly the power fear has played in my life, how much it has held me back, how much pain and stress and depression it has caused, and how comically silly these fears are once I've shined the light of bravery onto them. They're nothing. Empty. Powerless. And outright silly.

About two years ago when I first met my Fun Shui producer Amelia, I was your typical "Play It Safe" girl. But I could sense there was more, and I was finally brave enough to tell the world I was ready for it. But even though I had shouted to the Universe "BRING IT ON!", when the real deal came my way... well, I basically wanted to pee my pants. I was scared. I was terrified. I had thoughts like: "I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not thin enough. I don't know enough. I'll be too nervous. People will find out I'm a fraud. Something bad might happen. I simply can't live through this amount of physical and emotional discomfort." And to be honest, I almost lost the show.

Then one day Amelia called, after a few months of me stalling, waiting, preparing, and hoping the terror of being in front of a
camera (and all of America) would go away. She finally said the magic words: "Babe, maybe this just isn't meant to be". Well, that moment was the longest second of my life. Like the classic "life flashing before your eyes" scenario, it literally happened. But I didn't see my past. I only saw my future. I saw the end - myself on my own death bed - and I had a good long look at that inevitable scenario. How will I feel, lying there at the end of my life, having run from this opportunity? What am I most afraid will happen if I let this opportunity go? How will I feel if I DO take this opportunity, yet might possibly end up failing miserably and making a ginormous boob of myself on national television? How will I feel? How will I feel? How will I feel?".

And it hit me. Like a brick to the head. No humiliation, failure or ridicule could ever top the feeling of letting fear rule my life. So instead of my previous stalling, I started walking boldly forward, scheduling a film shoot, making the plans, and preparing for the day. I was scared, but I did it anyway. I felt sick, but I showed up. I wanted to hide, but I pulled myself together and moved forward.

And the rest is history. My fears were unfounded. And I'm now finding out that when there is great fear, there is also great passion and fulfillment just lurking underneath. We are afraid of those things we care about. We are scared around situations that could bring us the most joy. And so this is what I experienced this past week in LA. Once again, I stepped up to the plate and walked head-first into a whole new level of fears - speaking with people that would previously have rocked me to the core. Talking about ideas and trying on new adventures that I couldn't have even daydreamed about just a few years ago. And here's the great news for all of you: IT GET'S EASIER!!!!

The more we practice moving through fear, the more our mind starts to learn about truth about reality. And trust me, truth and reality are far different that the garbage that rattles around in our brains. You come to see that the fears are unfounded. Life is here to support us if we step up and embrace what things come our way. It is kind, not out to get us. The more we understand this, on a deep cellular level, we become capable of taking on challenges that we previously believed would kill us. We strengthen our muscle of bravery. We easily become capable of great things, great projects, great love, great compassion, and great joy and fulfillment. Life's colors go from the basic 8-crayon box to the super-swank 64 box with the sharpener built into the side. There is a rainbow of complexity and magic and abundance beyond our wildest dreams, just waiting for us to open our eyes and take the needed steps. And all of this wonderment is just a belief away.

So what's your next step? What's your next fear to push through? What one jumped hurdle would bring you immense joy?

I am living proof that it is possible. I have lived in limitation. I have lived in fear. And I still do at times. But I have also begun to experience the very opposite. May you too all march to the other side of fear. Join me on the other side - it's still a bit lonely over here -- we could use a few more members. I'll be here when you arrive!

© 2008 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

ADJUSTING YOUR SPACE FOR THE "FUTURE YOU"

Many of you have noticed that I'm always talking about adjusting our spaces as a way of manifesting in our physical environment. When we create spaces that speak to who we imagine ourselves to be in the next several years, we create a continuous, inspiring, encouraging home or office that helps keep us feeling entitled, energized and focused on our greatest goals. What we think about, we bring about. And our space can have a great deal to do with how we manifest our dreams.

Take a look at your space right now.... What do you see?... How would
you describe it? If your home or office was a person, what kind of
personality and temperament would they have? Is it focused, bland,
empty, Zen, frenetic, lively, intense, bold, pretty, sweet, delicate,
powerful, heavy, light, small, expansive? Put words to what you see and
feel about your surroundings.

Then take a look at YOU. Where are you right now in your life? Where
would you like to be? What traits do you have that are keeping you from
that dream? Where do you sense or notice any imbalances or extremes?

Once you take note of these traits, you can then being to create your
plan, your focus and your intention for your new space. To give a
clearer example, let's take my home as a sampling of what I mean....

When I first started feng shui, I lived with 3 other roommates in
cramped, dirty quarters and sleeping in a bedroom that was 100% stark
white. I was struggling financially, struggling with my weight, and
struggling with my self-confidence. Then I read "The Western Guide to
Feng Shui" and started making my space beautiful. I surrounded myself
with pretty things, rich textures, and inspiring artwork. I added soft
pastel pinks & yellows to the walls. I did the best I knew to do. And I
felt better, I got a great new art directing job, my finances tripled
and I was losing weight! Not bad... not bad indeed.

Then I met my teacher, Jackie -- after helping me manifest a new, more
expansive, mature (and FAR more beautiful) apartment, things REALLY
started to blossom. My space expanded, and my life expanded right along
with it. But I brought all the things, colors and beliefs from the
previous apartment. At least, that is, until Jackie's next visit.

Jackie opened my eyes to what I was creating unconsciously. What I was
most struggling with was self-confidence, yet deep inside I am a
strong, passionate, dynamic woman. My environment (and my internal
mental gremlin) told a far different story. Jackie helped me see that
the colors I chose were still soft and gentle, and where I was wanting
to go in my life was far from that. I needed clarity, focus, energy and
drive. So she helped me design a space that was bold, beautiful and
dynamic. Within no time at all, I saw the effects of this energetic
influence on my life. My relationships transformed, my career was
booming, my income was going up and up and up steadily, and I was
feeling more like the confident woman that I'd always imagined I could
be. It was this design and this bold dose of confidence that I
attribute as a large part of what allowed me to manifest "Fun Shui" so
effortlessly. What a blessing beyond words...

But after shooting a tv show and all the intensity and time that went
into making it, the experience had left me needing more quiet and R&R.
I had been working so much that my space and it's arrangement spoke to
a woman who worked all the time. And that's basically how my life was
going. So once again, Jackie to the rescue! She saw what I needed. She
intuitively felt where I was, and where my body and spirit longed to
go. And she helped me create a space that spoke to that next step in my
evolution and path. With a calm Zen airiness and simplicity (yet with
an equally bold blast of fire and fame!) she's once again helped me
design the "medicine" for my home and my life. I've spent much of this
New Year's time sorting, purging, releasing and repainting in order to
allow my space to once again become an inspiration. Thank you Jackie,
thank you Universe, thank you Megan & Lauren (who have spent the entire
week with me painting my ceiling red!)

My point in telling you this is to help show you:

1. How having help and support when transforming your space is vital.
Even I, a feng shui practitioner myself, need a neutral outside party
(just because I can see other's homes clearly doesn't mean I can
necessarily see my own blind spots). We all need that external mirror
to help reflect our imbalances, shine a light on our beauty, and to
inspire us out of our comfort zones and on to the future that awaits.

2. How important it is to always be open to the flow and change of
things. As our lives unfold, our homes must too in order to provide us
with the forward inspiration we so desire. Your space will NEVER be
done. As long as you are alive and breathing, your home will be
evolving right along with you...

3. The powerful results that can be achieved through powerful shifts in
our environment. I believe in feng shui because it has worked for me. I
believe in feng shui because it has changed my life. And there's
nothing better than that...

2007 NEW YEAR'S GRATITUDE HOMEWORK

This week, as we move forward bright new year, I find that it's important to honor our past as we pave the way for the future. Take some time between now and New Year's eve to join me with some "Gratitude Homework" before 2008 begins.

Take your journal or a piece of paper, and answer the following:

1. One challenging situation from this past year that you would handle differently if it arose again
(giving gratitude for the wisdom you learned through this experience!)
2. Three challenges that gave you an opportunity to learn and grow and become wiser or more compassionate
3. Five ways in which you have changed for the better since this time last year
4. Seven people you are grateful for in your life, and why
5. Nine things that brought a smile to your face

Sit in silence for 5-20 minutes after writing this list. Sit in silence – in joy and gratitude – for the gift of this past year and all it's joy, laughter, tears, and challenges (which often times are the greatest gifts of all!)

Now shift your energy forward into the coming year. Sit and imagine yourself 1 year from now and write down three things that you most wish to change, accomplish or create in this coming year. (Write the statements has if they've already happened.) Sit for as long as necessary to find the 3 things that speak most to you, that fill you with joy, and bring the most excitement at the thought of their achievement!

1.

2.

3.

Now copy these three things again onto two other pieces of paper - one to carry with you every day of this coming year (in your purse or wallet) and one to display prominently throughout the year - either on the bathroom mirror, your dressing mirror, above the kitchen sink, by the door that you exit to leave for work, or wherever you will see it on a daily basis. Even though you may have hundreds of things you would like to see change over the next year, picking just three will help keep you focused. Changing even one major aspect of our life can have powerful, ripple effects into every other area. Other things besides these three will naturally manifest throughout the year, but staying focused on your major goals, over and over and over on a daily basis, can bring about the most lasting, dynamic changes.

What you think about most, you bring about!

When you've written down your three 2008 resolutions, email them back to us! I'll post them to my blog so you all can be inspired and connect with others that are working toward similar goals...

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

10 SURE-FIRE TACTICS TO FIRE UP YOUR LOVE LIFE

Feng shui is manifesting at it's best. It's a way of inspiring our minds to think more about what we DO want, and less about what we don't. When we create a bedroom that's already built for our perfect partner, we're more likely to bring that person into our life. Here are 10 quick feng shui tips to help add a spark to your current relationship, or help bring in the partner of your dreams.

1. REMOVE ALL LONELY, SOLITARY OR DEPRESSING ARTWORK
Objects that remind us of being alone can keep us stuck in solitary relationship patterns

2. INCORPORATE SETS OF TWO'S
By placing objects together in sets of two, it inspires thoughts of partnership and togetherness

3. ADD ROMANTIC IMAGERY
Bringing in sculptures, artwork, photos or objects that inspire thoughts of love and romance can bring a sizzling spark to an otherwise loveless space

4. CREATE A ROMANTIC ENVIRONMENT
Adding things like candles, soft fabrics, tactile surfaces, warm, sensual scents, soothing sounds and mood lighting can heat up a cold environment

5. INTRODUCE SENSUAL COLORS
Using warmer skin tones or fiery colors into your space, especially your bedroom, can add warmth and inspire sensuality and intimacy

6. REMOVE DISTRACTIONS
Keep televisions and exercise equipment out of the bedroom or keep them covered behind screens or in cabinets. These items can distract you from the business at hand: ROMANCE!

7. FRESHEN UP THE ENERGY
Try replacing your bedding each year to keep the bedroom energy fresh and alive. Another great rule of thumb: replace your mattress after every major relationship so that the energy of your past doesn't unconsciously haunt your future relationships!

8. REMOVE ALL THE BLOCKS
Remove any blocks that you may have unconsciously placed into your home. Look for clutter behind doors, cabinets or dressers placed in tight hallways, or furniture arranged awkwardly so that it's difficult to maneuver. All these things can unconciously sabotage relationship efforts.

9. LET GO OF THE OLD TO MAKE WAY FOR THE NEW
Holding onto old, depressing love letters or sad memorabilia and nick-knacks locks stagnant or negative energy into our home and life. By releasing these, and surrounding ourselves with only things that inspire us forward into our ideal future, we easy can manifest the partner of our dreams.

10. BUILD A ROOM FOR TWO
As they say, "If you build it, they will come". Same goes for bedrooms. Make sure the room is built for two, with equal space on either side of the bed, two nightstands, two lamps, and a nice sturdy headboard to support a relationship.

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

THE NO-FAIL APPROACH TO KEEPING YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

Sticking to our goals can be challenging, especially with all the distractions in our fast-paced, modern lives. By using feng shui to create an inspiring environment, especially designed with your specific dreams in mind, it can become a non-stop manifesting machine, guaranteed to keep you focused, inspired and on-track with your 2008 goals.

1. REMOVE ALL THE BLOCKS
When we have unconscious blocks in our space — small, cramped and cluttered entryways; narrow halls filled with cabinets, bookshelves or shoes; awkward furniture arrangements; doors that run smack into walls — that often will show up symbolically as road-blocks in our lives. By removing the clutter, rearranging the furniture, and adding mirrors to tight spaces, it inspires movement, openness and abundance into our lives.

2. CLEAR OUT ALL THE CLUTTER
Everything in our space is talking to us on an unconscious level. Let's just pray that it's all saying something nice! By clearing clutter, fixing broken objects, and removing those items that tend to hold us back or evoke negative emotions, we lighten our emotional load to make way for something new and magical.

3. SIT IN THE POWER SPOT
When we sit in the "Power Spot" (which simply means the area farthest from the entrance to where we can see the expanse of the room), we naturally and instinctively feel more empowered. When our major furniture, such as our couch, desk and bed, all sit in this strong position, we naturally feel strengthened to face life's challenges head-on. This instant ego-boost can be just the trick as we begin taking risks and living big.

4. MAKE A SPACE FOR WHAT YOU WANT
As they say, "if you build it, they will come". Same goes with our dreams and aspirations. Make sure that your home or office accommodates your deepest desires. If you want to lose weight, make room for the exercise equipment. If you want to paint, clear a spot for an easel or drafting table. If you want love, build a romantic hideaway.

5. INCORPORATE VISUAL AFFIRMATIONS
We all know that to manifest, we need to think about what we desire. So what better way to do this than by filling our homes or offices with imagery, artwork, sculptures, vision boards, photos of personal heros or objects that trigger thoughts of our desired goals? These subtle visual cues can help us keep on track with our manifesting wish-lists.

6. CLEAN WITH INTENTION
Cleaning is a fantastic way to freshen up our home and remove any stressful, depressing or stagnant energy from the past. But while you're doing so, keep in mind that our home is a direct reflection of our thinking. The intention we put into our environment radiates right back at us. So when you clean in a stressed-out mindset, you create more stress. When you clean from a peaceful state, you create a home that feeds you more positive energy.

7. USE "UNCOMFORTABLE" COLORS
Often times we are our own worst enemies, and we will design our homes to keep us stuck and stagnant. We tend to lean toward objects, arrangements and colors that play it safe and prevent change and movement. By stretching ourselves our of our comfort zones, and trying on new colors that inspire new, dynamic emotions, we can help nudge ourselves from our ruts and get things flowing in the right direction.

8. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH WHAT YOU LOVE
When you live with only what you love, arranged with intention and purpose, you set up a supportive, nurturing, inspiring environment. This becomes like a living incubator for your dreams to grow and blossom.

9. DESIGN YOUR HOME FOR THE FUTURE
By using feng shui principles to design a space that's built for the "future you" — who you will become 2 to 5 years down the road — you surround yourself with the constant reminder that your dreams are already a reality and that you deserve abundance, which will magnetize you to the people, situations and objects you desire.

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

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A PRAYER CIRCLE

Please join me in creating a healing prayer circle for my new dear friends, Diana and Josh, in Las Vegas, NV. As you read the amazing email I received from Diana on the blog posting below, you will hear of their current situation regarding her husband's health.

Please join me daily in the next many days, weeks, and months as we all focus and picture Josh surrounded in white light, in perfect health, with a perfect, clear, pink, happy brain! See him spending a long and lucious life with his adorable wife, Diana. See him as healed. See him as strong. See him as happy and healthy and energetic. See it so real and tangible that it gives you chills and you're smiling with delight.

I ask that you join this prayer circle simply because when our minds, as a collective, hold a similar image or intention, true magic and miracles can occur. This is the powerful of prayer...and of love.

Thank you, from myself, Diana and Josh.

With deepest gratitude,

Stephanie

THE POWER OF LOVE

“Lets go on a Phish Tour for our honeymoon” was what Josh proposed to me a few months after we got married in April 2003. I was already head-over-heals in love with him so I said “sure.” Boy was I in for a Phish culture shock! We had a great time but during the trip, I noticed Josh was not as talkative or social. Josh wasn’t sure what was going on but agreed something was wrong since he didn’t feel “right.” After flying home, we met with the doctors and they dismissed his complaints and said Josh was just recovering from the honeymoon and was having jet lag. Not convinced with the doctors’ diagnosis, Josh pushed for an MRI. MRI showed a tumor and what happened afterwards was all a blur. I remember rushing to the ER, meeting with the neurosurgeon, Josh under the knife, surgeon telling us the initial pathology report shows tumor was benign, and then the official pathology report a day later saying Josh has the worst and most aggressive brain cancer (Glioblastoma multiform). This was the beginning of our emotional roller coaster. Those affected with cancer knows what I’m talking about- one moment things are going well and the next, you’re in the ER for either seizures, blood clots, head pressure, tumor regrowth, weakness, etc. Our lives are lived from one MRI to the next. I truly now know what “living in the moment” and “living life to the fullest” means. When Josh was first diagnosed, the oncologist told us the typical lifespan of patients affected by this GBM is 6 months to 2 years. Let me tell you, the ride home was very quiet.

I believe it was fate that Stephanie’s and my path crossed. I had been watching her show on HGTV and was interested in what she had to teach. I was curious to learn what we could do to make our living environment more comfortable, uplifting, and inspiring. Hummm……. Well, Josh spends most of his day at home; his full time job is no longer a database developer but a brain tumor warrior! How can I transform our home to be the “healing hub” for Josh? We already have:

1) Prayers from friends and family and strangers from almost every religious background.
2) Doctors and medication/treatment working for Josh.
3) We have Duwayne & Mui (very close friends of ours and one of Stephanie’s biggest fans) religiously visiting every weekend for energy work. (Shockras and realignment of meridians)
4) Feng Shui (why not!)

Stephanie has taught us a lot through her show. Her show is the only HGTV show that has gotten me off my fat behind and actually rearranging furniture, clearing clutter, CLEANING! The most amazing feng shui exercise for me was going through our medicine cabinet (our personal pharmacy because Josh requires a lot of meds) and throwing away expired drugs, questionable bottles, etc. Second exercise was going through mountains of medical bills, health insurance claims, medical files, etc. This chore has been on the back of my mind for so many years and it felt so good to just mentally cross it off my to-do list. We’ve learned the kitchen (which is the center of our house) is the health zone and we are trying very hard to keep that area clean and de-cluttered.

I decided to go to Stephanie’s website and contact her personally. I told her what we were going through, and she wrote back. Then she called us personally to see how she could help. We spoke for about an hour. Stephanie told us that her father had gone through a very similar cancer struggle and was given a 3-month life expectancy, yet was still around 15 years later to tell the tale. So she gave us her parents’ number in Indiana, hoping that their story would inspire Josh and myself.

I was such a privilege to speak with Stephanie’s parents (Judy and Steve) and boy was my heart filled with warmth and peace. These people are out of this world! Like Stephanie, they were very compassionate, kind, and funny! Steve had the same type of cancer Josh is fighting and they’ve gone through the emotional roller coaster we’re going through. I had a huge sense of connection when speaking with them. Judy and Steve gave us advice on nutrition, meditation, and provided a lot of support.

This whole Feng Shui “thing” has gotten me to think about a person’s emotional state as well. Josh, my hero, is always upbeat and smiling. He’s always smiling because he’s surrounded by people who loves him, he’s in an environment that he’s comfortable and happy, and he doesn’t get himself into stressful situations. His attitude has contributed to his well being since this past July was his 4th year anniversary fighting this cancer.

Our friend Duwayne states, your home is where your friends/family visits, foods are consumed (to nurish your body), and if you’re lucky, a place you spend to relax and renew yourself from the outside world. It only makes sense to me to make our home as comfortable as possible and Feng Shui accomplishes this goal…its designing your home with a purpose! Cheers to Stephanie and her show for helping improve people’s lives and homes. She has definitely touched our hearts and we are so grateful for her inspiring chi.

—Diana (Vegas, NV)

9 SURE-FIRE WAYS TO USE FENG SHUI FOR WEIGHTLOSS

1. MAKE SURE YOUR KITCHEN ISN'T THE FIRST THING YOU SEE
Since our home is always talking to us and sending us subtle, unconscious messages, try to avoid seeing a kitchen or the site of food upon entering your space. Many women who struggle with weight have homes that have kitchens right in the entrance to the space. If this is your situation, try diverting the visual focus into another room by using color, dynamic artwork, or welcoming seating arrangments that help distract focus away from the kitchen and pull you more quickly into another part of the home. If these tips seem impossible, try hanging screens or adding tall plants to help hide the kitchen from first glance.

2. CLEAN OUT YOUR CLOTHES CLOSET!
That's right. Your closet may be making you fat. If you're holding on to clothes that are 2 sizes to big, far too small, or simply out of fashion, you're sending yourself messages that many be holding you back from your weightoss goals. By holding onto these items, they whisper messages that who we are today is not good enough. These items make us focus more on our weight, and as we all know, what we think about expands (no pun intended). We want to focus on optimism, joy and loving our bodies for where they are today. When we keep our thoughts on positive topics, we draw more of THAT to us. Think thin, and that's what you'll get.

3. REMOVE IMAGES THAT ENCOURAGE EATING
Whether it's images of larger people, or imagery of food itself, these all can send the message to eat more and more. By switching out artwork that speaks to who we wish to become in the next 2-5 years, we're far more likely to achieve those goals. Try adding artwork of energetic women, dancing or in movement, with the body type that you most admire. These objects can provide lots of subtle inspirations throughout your day.

4. HIDE THE TV
We all know that spending endless hours in front of the boob-tube can turn us into couch potatoes. And we all know what shape potatoes are! By arranging our main living spaces to inspire socialization, joy and movement, INSTEAD of TV watching, our lives can't help but reflect this change. Creating arrangements that aren't a shrine to a TV, but instead are created to inspire connect, communication and socialization, can add extra energy and optimism to your life. The more we're movin' and shakin', the less weight our bodies will hold.

5. CLEAR THAT CLUTTER
Our homes are a direct reflection of our bodies. When we have excess clutter, it creates stagnancy. And that symbolically can show up as stagnancy on the body in the form of excess weight. Holding onto things that no longer serve us simply weighs down our lives (and our bodies). Take a look at everything in your home and office and make sure that it inspires you and moves you forward in life. This purging and clearing process can be cathartic when struggling with issues of weight.

6. MAKE EXERCISE AND MOVEMENT FUN!
As they say "if you build it, it will come". Well, that couldn't be more true. If there's something in your life that you'd like to be doing, but simply aren't, make sure there's a space for it in your home or your life. If you're wanting to lose weight, make sure that you've created convenient ways to bring movement into your daily routine. If you have the space, incorporate a gym or dance floor into your home. Find a gym that's close by, find neighbors who will join you in nice long walks... If your exercise routine isn't convenient and fun, you simply won't do it. And let me again stress the FUN factor! We all know that using exercise as a way to beat ourselves up or feel bad about our lives is all the emotional stress we need to find ourselves standing in the fridge, eating peanut butter out of the jar with our fingers. If you currently have an exercise routine and it's absolutely no fun, your assignment is to STOP. Find something today that's fun and feel's like play. Children are naturally tuned into their bodies and work movement effortlessly into their daily routine, and NOT as "exercise" or "calorie-counting". And guess what? They're naturally thin! Try making FUN the first priority and see if the weight doesn't start coming right off.

7. BEAUTIFY YOUR KITCHEN
When we struggle with weight, often times we've turned food into our enemy, and considering how delicious and sacred food can be, that's a darn shame! When we embrace food, make friends with it and actually ENJOY it, taste it, smell it, chew it, and delight in it, we can hear our natural body signals. Like a naturally thin person, embracing the dining experience allows us to hear what our bodies are geniunely calling for, eating when our bodies are hungry and stopping when they are full. Start by sorting through your freezer, fridge and pantry. Throw out all your old or freezer-burned foods. Then go through the cubboards and find ways to make things more beautiful. Try glass jars that allow you to see what you have, and creates the most beautiful experience when you open the doors. Delight in your experience with food, get fresh flowers for the table. Find any way to give yourself a positive experience in life.

8. INCORPORATE COOLING COLORS
Color studies have shown that wamer tones such as reds, oranges and yellows tend to heat up our desire to eat. Cooling colors such as blues, greens and blacks have the opposite effect and can act as appetite suppressants. Consider incorporating some of these cooling tones to placemats, wall or accent colors, or even to dishware. As we all know, relying only on cooling colors to lose weight is not the answer. But this can be a nice added touch to the home to support your weightloss goals.

9. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THINGS YOU LOVE!
Feng shui is simply the art of creating environments that help you feel as good as you possibly can. When you feel uplifted and hopeful, everything in life goes much more smoothly and we live more abundant lives. When we surround ourselves with beauty and with nothing but objects we love, arranged mindfully and purposefully, we can create supportive, healing environments. When your space is constantly telling you "You're supported, you're beautiful, you deserve love, you're thin, you're WONDERFUL!" we begin to show up that way. If you follow this last tip only, you will be doing great feng shui!

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC


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FAN LETTER:

I was so moved to receive this email, and wanted to share it with all of you. Thank you to this writer, as well as all the rest of you out there that are changing your lives, becoming more loving, opening yourselves to vulnerabilities and possibilities, and overall becoming fabulous, wonderful people! Cheers to you all....

"Stephanie...
6 months ago I got engaged. 3 months ago I moved from my single-gal apartment of five years--a place I loved, painted and charmed to my own personal perfection--into a new apartment in a lovely neighborhood, with the promise of room for my soon-to-be husband and soon-to-be life. One month ago I got married and my new husband moved in. My first roommate in at least 6 years. And a boy, no less! And just 4 days ago I turned 30.

A lot of change.

The energy is this new place is all out of whack. His boxes (and things) are everywhere and we're having such a time joining our lives and possessions. Not to mention, we're living in half of an old Victorian house, with great high ceilings--the same ceilings that gave the illusion of much more space. We are cramped! Only two bedrooms, one of which is his office--with his files littering the hallway as he gets organized, and my clothes desperately short on closet space. I've still not taken the time to pull out my paper and make my diagram and figure out where the energy is going, where each area falls, and what I can do to keep things moving gently. The place feels crazy (and so do we).

All of this is simply to explain how I found you! We were watching HGTV when Fun Shui came on the screen. I haven't had cable in years, and Darren knows how much I love that stuff, so we kept the channel in its place and watched the episode where you worked with the actors on their dining room. I got online to find you because I so loved the painting you did for them, I was hoping I could commission one for Darren and me. (I still haven't found the answer to that question!) It was so lovely. I loved the figures, the golden colors, and the couple intertwined with the crown all alongside. We're both trying to make progress in our careers, gain fame and good reputation, yet our bond to one another is at the center of it all. You're so incredibly talented!

So anyway...hgtv.com leads me to your bio. Your bio leads me to evolving arts. Evolving arts leads my to My Cup of Chi. And suddenly I'm absorbed in your blog and facing all of the issues and energies that I have cast away in this last six months of drastic life change. My relationship with food, same as you, same as nearly every woman I know--has resurfaced as a means of dealing with the continued stress. (And complete identity struggle. Who am I now?) My spiritual connection to God, naturally, is inversely related. Food up, God down. And even an issue I was trying to pretend had nothing to do with me was tossed right in my path through your post of Byron Katie's video.

So in effect I am only writing to say thank you. it's been a while since I've been reminded of the simple beauty in following a trail your heart sends you down. Each post I stopped on was exactly what I needed when I needed it. And as a result I'm inspired to ditch the clutter--in our new home, in my heart, in my health--and clean it all out to create a clear channel to God again.

Maybe you know it, maybe you don't, maybe sometimes you forget--but your collection of your thoughts makes a genuine difference to people you've never even met before.
I thought you should know. Be reminded!
— Fun Shui Fan"

FUN SHUI Q&A: Our Health and Our Homes

Chris writes:
"I LOVE YOUR SHOW! I need help with the health area of my house. I have lived here 3 years and my family is having a great deal of trouble staying well. I then looked at my floor plan. The center of my house is nothing but stairs. They go up to the 2nd floor, and under them, they go down to the basement. I feel like this does represent our health - up and down! How can I fix the stairs without moving me or them?"

Stephanie's Answer:
Chris, this is a VERY common problem with many houses - staircases in the middle of the home. Health issues can come from a number of different issues in life, usually stemming from more than one particular circumstance or scenario, but strengthening and grounding the center of your home can add a nice support as you heal.

If you watch the episode on December 28th, we touch on this exact situation briefly. In the meantime, go to this article on my website:

http://www.evolvingarts.com/article_5elements.html

...and look up "EARTH" - all the tips listed there can be great adjustments to help ground the center of your home.

Also consider the following when you have stains smack in the center of your space:

• If you have artwork hanging on the wall leading up the stairs, hang them in horizontal lines, not in diagonal arrangements. The diagonal visual line created by this sort of arrangement just enhances the up and down movement of the stair's energy and speeds up the already fast-moving stairway "Chi". As many ways as you can create horizontal lines in your arrangements, the better!

• Try adding a HEAVY stone, flowerpot, urn or any other extremely heavy object to the center of your home near the base of the stairs. This helps give a weight to the space, grounding that unstable stairway energy.

• Try adding still, strong images of mountains — the emotional reaction we have to these types of images is very stabilizing

• If you see the stairs immediately as you enter your home, either add something lovely and lush (perhaps a healthy plant in a large heavy vase) to draw your eye there instead of up the stairs, or create a powerful visual in another room to help draw your attention into that area instead (you can do this by using inspiring colors on the wall, adding eye-catching artwork, or inviting seating arrangements - all will help pull your attention in the direction you desire).

Another thing to consider in terms of health is the literal "healthiness" of the items within your home. As I said before, health issues can come from a number of different direction — emotional stresses, genetic dispositions, poor diets, depression, environmental toxins, lack of exercise or movement, imbalanced environments, etc. Knowing this, we can do what we can to heal in all these areas. But let's focus for a moment on solely the objects within your environment. And I'll start by telling you a brief story about my own experience in this arena...

About 8 years ago I moved into a gorgeous, BRAND-NEW renovated apartment. It has new floors, new ceilings, new walls, new cabinets, a new bathroom, new paint job — you name it, it's new! I was thrilled about this lucky turn of fate, and moved into my gorgeous new home. It was balanced, it was open... with tall ceilings, clean lines and a shiny new penny feel. From an energetic perspective, I thought this was ideal. It had none of the leftover stagnant or negative energy from the previous tenants. Being quite sensitive to energy, this was a huge plus! But within a month of moving in, my optimism started to change.

I started getting sick. Very sick. I was getting the flu every 1-2 months. This continued for over a year. Until one day I woke up sick, and I didn't get better for ONE ENTIRE YEAR. I did radical dietary adjustments, popped 10,000 vitamins, ate organic, exercised regularly. And slowly I came around. But every since then I've yet to have the energy I had before this move.

Now that I'm involved with my current Bau-Biologie studies (creating sustainable environments that are biologically healthy), I'm more and more understanding the harmful effects of the building materials contained in that newly gut-renovated apartment of mine. That "new car smell" that so many of us love are in fact deadly chemicals. The laminated cabinets contain loads of formaldehyde in the toxic glues that bind the plywood underneath. The paints contained high levels of VOC's (volatile organic compounds) that I could smell for months. The floors were treated with more toxic surface coatings and chemical-filled glues underneath. Then I filled the space with veneer-finished furniture and a new sofa and chairs.... EVERY SINGLE ONE of these items outgasses chemicals into the air, sometimes for years...or forever.

Try some of the following in your home when you're doing your next redesign or remodeling, or are struggling with environmental sensitivities:

• Use no-VOC paints — SafeCoat is a great paint product if you're looking to stick to more typical color palettes

• Get solid wood furniture — these don't contain the poisonous glues found in most all laminated or veneer furniture

• Buy used furniture — if you can't get solid wood or super-healthy furniture, buying used is a great alternative! It's had time to outgas much of it's chemicals so they are less harmful to your system (your local craigslist.com can be an invaluable resource for fabulous used furniture!)

It's important to research and educate yourself on everything you bring into your home. When you can, support companies and organizations that provide sustainable and healthy, chemical-free products, like Gaiam (www.gaiam.com) or Green Nest (www.greennest.com) or Green for Baby (www.greenforbaby.com). These and MANY more like them are becoming more readily available. The more we support products like this, the lower the prices will get and the more that will become available. For those who HAVE the financial resources, I encourage you to GO GREEN whenever possible. You pave the way for those less-financially-fortunate that will follow. And as we all know, money talks!

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams

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JUST FOR FUN: Turtle Love

Meet my new friend, Edwin. He came and introduced himself [rather suddenly] at a course I took two weeks ago in Florida. Here we are sharing a strand of lettuce over a plate of salad. I believe it was love at first sight...

THE STORY OF STUFF

I HIGHLY recommend that everyone take a look at the following online movie. It's eye-opening, timely and is the information that can help transform our lives, our communities and most importantly, our planet!

www.StoryOfStuff.com


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LAST WEEK'S BACHELOR PAD EPISODE

Chris and Zulie Cassaburi, recent newlyweds, gathered together with a friends and family to celebrate the airing of their episode last Friday night as America watched Chris transform his bachelor pad into a home for two (and Zulie couldn't be happier!). Share in their excitement as they opened their lives to the cameras to celebrate their marriage and their future together!

Thanks again, Chris and Zulie! We all send our very best to a long, happy life together!

With love,

Stephanie

All Photos © Dave Harris

The Town of Allopath [www.Mercola.com]

Here's a humorous and powerful video addressing the state of health and nutrition in the world today, and our relationship with the food & drug companies.

This is a must-see, simply cut and paste the URL below into your browser. And make sure to join Dr. Mercola's newsletter and mailing list at the end for up-to-date and cutting-edge information:

http://mercola.fileburst.com/Flash/Allopath/newsubscribe.swf

HERO HIGHLIGHT: William McDonough & the "Cradle to Cradle" Concept

Wiliam McDonough is my new hero! His groundbreaking work and unbelievable influence is shifting the way major industries are working and producing, including heavy-hitters such as Gap Inc., Nike and Herman Miller, to name a few. His environmental approach is shifting peoples' focus toward ways we can BENEFIT the planet through commerce and consumption — SUSTAINABLE design — not just simply slowing down our damaging effects upon the earth, which is a radical new shift in thinking.

I'll be writing much more about William McDonough, and others like him, as well as about Bau-Biologie and what we can do to make a difference.


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KATIE'S CORNER: Jealousy & Love

Here's a great video clip from Byron Katie and her amazing and powerful process, "The Work". This work is by far has been the most transformational experience I've yet to have in my life, and I hope you're as moved as I am with her work. Enjoy!

A Special "Gift" for Christmas!

I just received this email from William and Jennifer Coleman. For those of you who follow the show, the Green Baby's Nursery was one of our most popular episodes yet! Well, the adoption process is complete! And now we actually have a gorgeous little face to go with the bedroom transformation. Her name couldn't be more appropriate for this holiday surprise for these two amazingly caring, dedicated parents – it's GiFT. Gift Coleman. She's 2 beautiful years old and is currently living in Liberia. And once her passport and visa are all finalized, she'll be on her way "home".

Now, how can you and I use the inspiration of this story to make our own difference? What positive thing or experience could you add to the planet, to your surroundings, to your family, or to a stranger today? What gift do YOU have to give?

Congratulations William and Jennifer! (Have you two ever considered adopting a 37 year-old red-head from Brooklyn?)

Lots of love to you all!

Stephanie

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

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FENG SHUI Q&A: How to Avoid a Stinky Kitty Box

QUESTION FROM LINDA:
"I saw a litter box on your show that looked like a plant. Do you know where I can find one?"

STEPHANIE'S ANSWER:
I'm glad you enjoyed this addition to the last episode! Often times when we put special attention or intention into small objects in our home that usually go unnoticed you get more inspiration to keep things clean, tidy and in good working order. Same goes for the cat litter box.

There are several other "hidden" kitty litter boxes available. You can simply google your description, Linda. I also just did a quick google search and found this one on sale for you - hope this helps!

Tuscany Hidden Plant Litter Box for $89.95:
http://www.petsbestproducts.com/

MEOW!

HOW "PLAYING IT SAFE" IS DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS

I'm typing this at the Philadelphia airport. I've just left an amazing PR Mastermind Summit where I was surrounded by successful, inspiring, generous and creative entrepreneurs. There is something magical about surrounding yourself with people who have surpassed where you are, who have achieved things you've only dreamed of, and who have polished and honed skills you've longed to perfect. This sort of community raises the bar to what is possible, showing you in living color that all you've dreamed of is, in fact, quite attainable. I saw people embracing new information, stepping out of their comfort zones, and humbling themselves to embrace feedback. Today all of us were standing on the edge of a new possibility. Some of us will be taking the leap off the edge in the hope and faith that some thing (or some force) will be there to add lift to our new found wings. Others may stand with their feet firmly planted, never to move. Either is perfect, although one path leads to expanse and freedom, and the other, fear and resistance. But every opportunity, whether expansive or not, provides insights into our next needed steps, the chance to see our limits more clearly, and another opportunity to do it all differently tomorrow.

Every moment of every day, sometimes subtly and sometimes not, we are given the opportunity to soar or to stand. Fly or fall. Run or walk. It's simply a choice of whether we let fear or faith lead the way. This is in no way to make light of how challenging life can feel at many moments. Many days in my life it was a huge accomplishment with a troop of angelic applause that I merely got up out of bed. ("Stephanie's out of bed...Can I get an Amen?".... "AMEN!"). But what makes us take either path when those more challenging moments present themselves on a prickly platter? Very likely it's that snide and sneaky belief "Something BAD will happen if I fail or feel this discomfort". This terror touches every topic from the fear of heights, public speaking, romantic breakups to the ironic flip-side — outrageous success. We've come to dread this physical sensation that we so plainly label fear. But is that factual? Is it truly fear? ...or rather the buzz of an exciting new adventure?

Until this past year, I too spent much of my time avoiding discomfort and dodging the drama of my perceived obstacles. I tried every technique, philosophy and modality I could to remove my inner angst so I could get on with leading a life I'd love. I tried, and tried... then tried some more... only to find those nagging, gnawing, palm-sweat shakes would always be there to greet me as I moved toward any new unknown.

Did you notice that my writing style just changed from present to past tense? So what shifted to put those fears in the background, and move me toward a more fear-free place? Good question. And not one that can be answered in this short format. But what I CAN tell you here is that I can testify from this side of the mountain is that it's not as bad as you think. Actually, it's not bad AT ALL! Quite the opposite. And I only wish someone would have taught me as a child that the knotted ball of buzzing in my belly was merely excitement and newness and the energy of possibility. After running from the buzz from 36 years, I've come to see that the monster that was chasing me was merely my shadow. Once I turned around and faced the light, it disappeared into nothingness, leaving a much stronger, sassier, wiser woman in it's place.

But does it ever go away for good? Honestly I'm not sure. But the beliefs AROUND the sensation absolutely are moldable. Do I still feel that buzzing? Absolutely... any new situation still sends my hands shaking, palms sweating and voice quivering. Why, just today I stood in front of this new MasterMind group only to have this same old reaction come up once again. But what I can tell you is that the mere act of moving through it dissolves it into the most empowered powdery kiss. What's different about me today is that I was willing to embrace a challenge, where I normally would have kept quiet, pretended to have it all together, avoid embarrassment at all cost, and...well...basically, played it safe. But today, in front of all my peers, I exposed my humanness and my pretty imperfection. The strength I've gained from shooting Fun Shui this past year has given me a whole new respect for any "perceived" discomfort. Having moved through some of my greatest fears — public speaking, being in front of a camera, and teaching to the masses — I've grown strong. I no longer need people to see me as perfect. I am human, I have feelings, I have great strengths, and I have an equal number of weaknesses. But I'm finding this is what makes life quite juicy. It's the merging into our greatest hurdles that give us our greatest triumphs.

I welcome all of you to pick one discomfort, fear or hurdle - no matter the size or intensity. Even a mild stretch to one person can be an enormous stretch to someone else. As long as we continue to move and morph and grow and change, we stay flexible, open and fluid.

Please post your triumphs over fear -- big or small -- here in the blog so others can become inspired by your action, and gain strength enough to embrace their own...

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC
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A STRESS-FREE HOLIDAY: GUARANTEED! 7 Simple Tips to Remove Holiday Stress

It's that time again... time for gatherings, celebrations and lots and lots of cheer. But are you wondering how feng shui and the holidays go together? Simply put, feng shui is the art of designing and arranging our environment so that we feel as good as we possibly can—and of course during the holidays feeling good is at the very tiptop of all our wish lists. So let's take a look at some quick and easy ways we can decorate and energize our spaces to ensure the most fabulous holiday season ever!

1. ADD GROUNDING & CALMING DECORATIONS
As we all know, color is an important part of the holiday festivities. We bring in sparkling & star-shaped decorations, brightly-colored accessories, red accents, blinking lights, fireplaces, candles, pointed evergreen trees and lots of playful figurines—all of these items falling into the "fire" element category in feng shui, and all meant to inspire celebration and holiday bliss.

Even though many of us thrive in the intense energy so common to this time of year, this fiery intensity can evoke more stress than joy for the rest of us. While all these bold decorations are festive and fun, also try bringing in grounding, earthy colors and elements such as glittering golds which can have a stabilizing effect on a space and help balance all the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Also consider incorporating calming and cooling deep blues and water elements, which can add a relaxing effect and help calm the nerves.

Other decorative ways to incorporate more soothing or grounding influences into your arrangements might be to:
• paint an accent wall a shimmering gold
• incorporating a golden yellow table cloth or earth tone napkins
• add sparkling golden ornaments & decorations in earth tones such a pumpkin, goldenrod, and chocolates
• exchanging red or brightly-colored, blinking tree lights with cooling blue or calming white strands
• try adding more mirrors around the home which have a soothing, watery effect, especially over fireplaces.
• adding soothing water features, cut-glass decorations, or reflective glass ornaments
• decorating the table with a glass bowl centerpiece full of water and floating candles

2. INCORPORATE ALL THE SENSES
So often the hustle and bustle of the season, along with our already-overloaded schedules can keep us up in our heads, instead of in our hearts. To help stay calm as well as connected to all our loved ones, using feng shui to help incorporate all your senses into your holiday decorating can be a fantastic and uplifting boost. When all the senses are present and enlivening, it automatically creates a grounding, soothing, and comforting effect on the body. Sensuality within the home's design helps bring people together and stay connected.

• Cook cider and cinnamon sticks to fill the home with a warm, welcoming scent
• incorporate fir and evergreen scented candles
• try adding 5 ml of natural essential oils into 1 gallon of paint which adds a soft, subtle yet inspiring scent to your rooms through the holidays as well as the rest of the year!
• Mix a new set of holiday music that fits all of your guests' ages and tastes to help liven up the mood, yet soft enough to allow conversation.
• incorporate relaxing background music to your holiday cooking, cleaning or shopping.
• Decorate with soft, cuddly throws & pillows in your gathering spaces.
• add flannels and warm wools to the guest room bedding.
• Arrange bowls of nuts, candy, dried fruit and other treats throughout your gathering space.

3. CREATE INVITING ARRANGEMENTS
Creating inviting seating and decorative arrangements in Feng Shui helps to send subtle, unconscious messages to your family and guests. It tells the world how open you are to receiving, and to embracing those who walk through the front door. When furniture is placed in an inviting manner, and your home is laid out so that you can comfortably and safely move through the space, it helps draw energy into your environment, as well as stay focused on embracing your loved ones during the holidays.

Holiday Alert: people in small, cramped spaces may get very feisty! Especially when entertaining large groups, try opening up your seating arrangements by clearing the space of any sharp edges, excess furniture or over-sized coffee tables that could block the flow of energy through the space. Also consider arranging your major seating to face toward the entrance to the room, almost in the gesture of a wide-open embrace. Especially with all the socializing that happens during the holidays, think of your furniture as guests at a gathering and arrange them in friendly, inviting, intimate positions. When you create a space that is open, welcoming and warm, it helps inspire those same traits in your guests, and draw positive energy into your life.

4. ENSURE HARMONIOUS DINING
Since most of our holiday gatherings focus around sharing meals together, designing an eating area conducive to harmony, connection and playful interaction is extremely important. First, make sure that everyone at your dining table has a beautiful view from their seat. If you're looking for more harmony in the home, try incorporating a round or oval table this season, which has a less formal feeling than rectangular or square tables. Try this tip, and watch the effects on your connections with loved ones. When everyone can clearly see everyone else, we naturally feel more connected, and it helps smooth out rough relationships and make everyone feel important and honored.

Also try keeping the chairs at a similar size and avoid the classic "king and queen" chairs during the holidays. Having everyone sitting in equally sized chairs helps to bring more connection, and less hierarchy, separation, aggression or dominant behavior.

And lastly, keep centerpieces nice and low. Large, tall or bulky centerpieces create symbolic rifts or divisions between your guests. Tabletop tip: if you're paring down your decorations in the rest of the house, here's a nice place to put shiny, colorful decorative arrangements if you'd like more energized eating experiences.

Watch this Friday's episode and learn many more tips about dining room Feng Shui: December 7th on HGTV / 9:30pm and 1:30am ET (check local listings)

5. BRING NATURE INDOORS
Nature automatically has a balancing effect on a space. By bringing in elements of nature, we create a serene environment. Decorating with plants, flowers and other objects from nature can help reduce stress and make your entire space soothing and inviting. Adding poinsettias, live evergreen trees, fresh wreaths, garland, holly berries and pine cones can be the perfect natural touch. Also try arrangements of colorful fresh fruit, bowls of nuts, or make strands of strung cranberries and popcorn, which can turn into a fun family ritual.

6. REDUCE CLUTTER
The holidays are almost always a time of gathering new possessions and gifts. But in feng shui, when our homes become stuffed, the energy in our homes become blocked and stagnant, prevently new experiences, people and abundance to come into our life. This time of year is the perfect time to celebrate the old, and make way for the new. By sorting and purging old belongings that nolonger are used or necessary, letting them go or passing them on to someone else, we not only create a more calming environment but also allow space for new things to enter. You'll feel lighter going into the new year, with more focus and clarity about the good times to come...

If holiday stress is a big issue, consider keeping holiday decorations to a minimum or contain them to one room. An excess of visual clutter can keep you from focusing on what's at hand...having FUN! Cards, holiday paper, gifts, bows, food, fruitcakes, decorations, lights and candles all can generate a lot of excess energy. If you find yourself less focused and more stressed during the holidays, paring down might be just the thing...

7. CREATE SACRED SPACE
Don't forget this last, but most important step: creating a sacred personal space just for you!

At the end of the day, make sure to take time out for yourself. As you decorate your home for family and friends, make sure to create a separate space, room, or even just a chair, solely for you. Having a comfortable area where you can go to unplug and recharge will give you the energy to handle all of the holiday's many challenges. Find a small spot away from the rest of the family, incorporate your favorite colors, sounds, textures and lighting that fills you up and centers your spirit.

Here's one of the ways I keep myself feeling nurtured during the holidays: Fill a basket with a delicious tea, a scented candle, a soft blanket, writing journal and favorite book and keep it in your special place when you need a little pick-me-up. Do something solely for yourself and that energy will ripple throughout the entire season. Making sure you have a private place - sacred space - helps you to regroup, and by touching that core of ourselves, it opens our hearts, keeps us reminded of the true meaning of the season, and why we come together in the first place.

YOUR HOLIDAY HOMEWORK:
Grab a piece of paper and write down numbers 1 through 7. Beside each number write down one thing you will do in each of the categories above to help create a more calming holiday season for you and your family. Make your choices simple enough that you can accomplish one a day for the following week. This way you'll have plenty of time before the holidays hit to feel grounded, calm and joyful. Now that you've made your list, and have checked it twice, let's see who's going to have a naughty or nice holiday this season! If you follow the steps above, my guess for the happiest holiday household would be.... YOU!

Happy Stress-Free Holidays to All, and to All a Good Night....


© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

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FENG SHUI Q&A: Colors and the Feng Shui Floor Plan

QUESTION
Terri writes: "Will the house look garish if you use all the colors in the guas?"

ANSWER
Stephanie: Well, it sure could! I like that you asked this question, and this is often a confusing subject. Yes, if you painted each of the 9 areas of the floor plan a different color, it could easily look more like a circus than a home. Yes, there are colors and shapes and objects that generally apply to each area of the feng shui floor plan (or "bagua" map). And yes, they an be nice additions at times when you're wanting to make a shift to specific areas of the map. But since we're all different people, with very different personalities, paths and life experiences, it wouldn't make sense for everyone to paint their wealth area purple, or paint their Relationship area pink. This is where things can get a bit tricky in terms of arranging and designing your own space.

There are many factors that come into play when choosing colors for a person's home. When working with clients, I ask myself where I sense the person out of balance, and what colors would help to move them forward to the life they internally long for. I also take a look at the structure of the home, and see which areas are needing a bit of a kick. Using the feng shui floor plan is actually down on my list of important things to consider when applying feng shui to a space, or selecting colors. My biggest focus is who you are, where you're at, and where you're hoping to be in the next few years.

So what do you do what that information? Well, you may be even more confused now that you were before in terms of selecting colors for your home. Other than calling me for a phone, virtual or in-person consultation (which I obviously would recommend first), try tuning in with a journal and asking yourself the following questions:

• What colors am I drawn to and use regularly in my home's design? (often times this is the color that is unconsciously holding you back or keeping you stuck - we gravitate toward what's familiar, and not what will inspire growth & change)

• Am I needing more energy in the next few years, or am I needing calming, grounding, or healing instead? (Bold, cleaner or brighter colors can evoke energy, muted and neutral tones can provide grounding. Cooler colors can calm, while warmer colors can heat things up. Try to select colors that speak to that inner "knowing" of where your soul longs to travel in the next handful of years).

• Is there an aspect of my personality that is in an extreme state? Either extremely nervous, or bold, or shy, or distracted, etc.? Choosing colors that help elementally dampen down those characteristics and build up other traits can be a big boost too.

• Am I afraid of adding color (or certain colors) to my home? And if so, why? Most homes in America are white, beige or tan. I believe we do this simply out of habit, as well as out of resistance. Colors evoke emotions, so often times we will unconsciously keep color out of our environments due to a fear of change, or a desire to avoid certain emotional issues. But on a deeper soul level, we are here on this planet to do exactly that – to change, to learn and to grow! Color can be the biggest and best way to inspire transformation in our lives, and it's a shame that most of us avoid it.

Please continue to ask questions surrounding color selection, and we can take this discussion deeper as more specific questions are asked.

Happy Painting!!!


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© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

Are You in Resistance...or Flow?

A dear friend of mine recently told me: "In our lives, we are either in resistance or flow." I found this statement to be both simple and powerful... and most of all, true.

What we are aspiring to achieve is a fluid, flowing experience through life, much like a smooth drift down a river's path...bending easily with each turn and twist, not going too slow, not rushing too fast. When things veer left, we go left. When things turn right, we float right. That is peace. That is balance. That is happiness. Many of us (and probably more accurately, MOST of us) are in a state of resistance to life. When we see a bend coming in the river, we scramble, scurry and peddle like mad to swim up-river in the attempt to avoid the upcoming curve. We burn energy, we worry, we defend and we panic in hopes to avoid a (perceived) collision or catastrophe. But the one thing we can 100% count on in life is that thing will change. Events will come our way. Situations will come, situations will go. People will be born, and people will die. Jobs will appear, and jobs will disappear. Of that we can be sure of.

But our brains are tricky little buggers. We often times live under the delusion that we are in charge and in control of everything in life. And while I'm a huge believer in manifesting (which I will be writing about next week), sometimes "shit happens", and it's how we embrace life that is truly the deepest blessing...or curse. We either become rigid and controlling, or we learn to bend, flex and flow with life. When we get scared of change, we get brittle. We avoid people, situations, or things that could disturb our tight little world. And you can imagine what happens to the brittle person when surprises spring up - That's right, they BREAK. I dated a man once who had become so rigid that simple things like moving a lamp, cleaning dishes the wrong way, touching germs or eating foods that weren't on his limited "healthy" list would send him into a complete and total emotional melt-down. He deemed this behavior to be spiritual. But all I saw was a man that was controlling and terrified.

Now don't get similar-looking behavior confused with someone who is CARE-ful (full of care) in life. I know people who watch what they eat, are precise with their homes and arrangements and cleanliness, and are conscientious with all that they do and say. But this is NOT to be confused with rigidity. These people are also highly skilled with flowing and flexing with life. They embrace and revel in the surprises and turns. Being THOUGHT-ful or CARE-ful is FAR different that being outright anal-retentive, although on the outside they can often appear to be quite similar.

Keep in mind too that being too loosy-goosy (I can often fall into this category!) is also an imbalance. Flowing with things is different that being all over the place, with no boundaries or containment. Just like the river, we need the bank to hold and hug the water as it twists and flows. Without containment, you have a flood instead of a river.

That being said, how does one embrace "What Is"? How do we learn to accept reality, and welcome change when it sometimes can scare the pants off of us? Ah, baby steps... baby steps...

I like to notice smaller, less dramatic moments in life that support this theory. It comforts me, and helps me see the beautiful choreography of this mysterious world. The Universe is here to support us, and is full of abundance beyond our wildest dreams. The Universe isn't out to get us, or to make us miserable (although often times our life circumstances appear to be otherwise). If we can take a deeper look at the workings of our life, and ask some pivotal questions, we can sometimes see the kindness beneath the turmoil. Perhaps everything IS for our highest good after all....

Let's take the events of my past Monday as a mini-example.

I wake up, with the expectation of my assistant showing up at 10am. 10:30 rolls around and she's still not here. 11 comes and goes. Noon hits and she's no where to be seen. I email several times, no reply. Hm.... I have a choice right now: get my panties in a twist, or just roll with the punches.

A knock at the door. I open it to see my lovely friend, Alana, who cleans my house every 2 weeks... and also a young girl standing beside her. I'm confused... "Stephanie, my daughter was off school, and not feeling well.... so I brought her with me".

"Fantastic! Come on in!"

As I start talking to the 16 year old daughter, she tells me that she's got a cold.... and as we start to talk I learn that her heart's been broken by a recent break up.... sigh... we've all been there! So she and I sit and talk for 3 solid hours. I learn everything about he life, her hurts, her frustration, sadness and anger at her boyfriend, and I proceed to load her up with special teenage-specific pick-me-ups — just the thing for a broken teen heart. We bond. I gain a new friend. And at the end of the 3 hours, mom, daughter and I stand crying in the kitchen over the love between these two, the confusion of puberty, and the misunderstandings between mother and daughter. They hug, I scoot them out the door with goodies in hand, and stand on my stoop waving good bye. What an amazing day. One that I KNOW would not have happened if my assistant HAD shown up. I felt love and gratitude that God so beautifully choreographed the day's events to give me time with this young, hurting girl.

And as I smile and turn to go back inside, I realize that I have no keys...and am standing barefoot in winter, in the middle of Brooklyn, still wearing my pajamas.... You gotta luv that visual.

I look all around, pondering how I can gain access to my apartment. Then I see one of my neighbors halfway down the block. "VICKI! Are you coming, or going?" I find out she's leaving for the weekend, but is kind enough to turn around to let me back into the building. But JUST as she arrives at the stoop, she looks down and gasps! Her keys had fallen from her pocket upon her recent exit and they were lying there on the steps, waiting to potentially be snatched up by the first passer-by. I laughed with delight, as did she, at the divine perfection of my current situation. I could stomp and stew about my current situation, or rather "go with the flow". It took me getting locked of my apartment for Vicki to find her keys. And that's the way ALL of life actually is, although most times it's not as clear-cut as this. But moments like this remind me that there is some sort of higher order. There is some sort of gift to each challenge, whether we can see it in the moment or not.

Now, this is in no way to make light of life's more challenging topics such as cancer, poverty, the loss of a job, home, spouse or child. But when faced with challenges like this, I like to try on a new way of thinking. I like to stretch my mind as if I'm writing a fairytale. If I had to write the story of this tough situation, and the outcome HAD to prove that the world was innately good, what would I write? How would I make up the ending so that it brought a smile to my face and more love to my heart? How could I explain this event so that it might, just might, make some semblance of sense? Call it psychological trickery, or just downright faith, it helps me to be more playful, think outside the box, and stretch my realm of possibilities. And most of all, live a happier, more loving life.

So next time life "hits", try asking these questions first:

• What might the world be trying to teach me in this situation?
• What can I learn through this?
• How can I use this situation to better myself?
• What if this situation was creating an opportunity or gift for someone else, even though I may never know or see the effects... how would I feel about this challenge then?
• If the world IS supportive and kind, how might this situation actually be to my benefit? How could I somehow view this challenge as a gift?

Going with the flow, or swimming upstream — when the river of YOUR life takes its next turn, how will you take the ride?

I say float on, float on, float on...


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