FUN SHUI Q&A: Our Health and Our Homes

Chris writes:
"I LOVE YOUR SHOW! I need help with the health area of my house. I have lived here 3 years and my family is having a great deal of trouble staying well. I then looked at my floor plan. The center of my house is nothing but stairs. They go up to the 2nd floor, and under them, they go down to the basement. I feel like this does represent our health - up and down! How can I fix the stairs without moving me or them?"

Stephanie's Answer:
Chris, this is a VERY common problem with many houses - staircases in the middle of the home. Health issues can come from a number of different issues in life, usually stemming from more than one particular circumstance or scenario, but strengthening and grounding the center of your home can add a nice support as you heal.

If you watch the episode on December 28th, we touch on this exact situation briefly. In the meantime, go to this article on my website:

http://www.evolvingarts.com/article_5elements.html

...and look up "EARTH" - all the tips listed there can be great adjustments to help ground the center of your home.

Also consider the following when you have stains smack in the center of your space:

• If you have artwork hanging on the wall leading up the stairs, hang them in horizontal lines, not in diagonal arrangements. The diagonal visual line created by this sort of arrangement just enhances the up and down movement of the stair's energy and speeds up the already fast-moving stairway "Chi". As many ways as you can create horizontal lines in your arrangements, the better!

• Try adding a HEAVY stone, flowerpot, urn or any other extremely heavy object to the center of your home near the base of the stairs. This helps give a weight to the space, grounding that unstable stairway energy.

• Try adding still, strong images of mountains — the emotional reaction we have to these types of images is very stabilizing

• If you see the stairs immediately as you enter your home, either add something lovely and lush (perhaps a healthy plant in a large heavy vase) to draw your eye there instead of up the stairs, or create a powerful visual in another room to help draw your attention into that area instead (you can do this by using inspiring colors on the wall, adding eye-catching artwork, or inviting seating arrangements - all will help pull your attention in the direction you desire).

Another thing to consider in terms of health is the literal "healthiness" of the items within your home. As I said before, health issues can come from a number of different direction — emotional stresses, genetic dispositions, poor diets, depression, environmental toxins, lack of exercise or movement, imbalanced environments, etc. Knowing this, we can do what we can to heal in all these areas. But let's focus for a moment on solely the objects within your environment. And I'll start by telling you a brief story about my own experience in this arena...

About 8 years ago I moved into a gorgeous, BRAND-NEW renovated apartment. It has new floors, new ceilings, new walls, new cabinets, a new bathroom, new paint job — you name it, it's new! I was thrilled about this lucky turn of fate, and moved into my gorgeous new home. It was balanced, it was open... with tall ceilings, clean lines and a shiny new penny feel. From an energetic perspective, I thought this was ideal. It had none of the leftover stagnant or negative energy from the previous tenants. Being quite sensitive to energy, this was a huge plus! But within a month of moving in, my optimism started to change.

I started getting sick. Very sick. I was getting the flu every 1-2 months. This continued for over a year. Until one day I woke up sick, and I didn't get better for ONE ENTIRE YEAR. I did radical dietary adjustments, popped 10,000 vitamins, ate organic, exercised regularly. And slowly I came around. But every since then I've yet to have the energy I had before this move.

Now that I'm involved with my current Bau-Biologie studies (creating sustainable environments that are biologically healthy), I'm more and more understanding the harmful effects of the building materials contained in that newly gut-renovated apartment of mine. That "new car smell" that so many of us love are in fact deadly chemicals. The laminated cabinets contain loads of formaldehyde in the toxic glues that bind the plywood underneath. The paints contained high levels of VOC's (volatile organic compounds) that I could smell for months. The floors were treated with more toxic surface coatings and chemical-filled glues underneath. Then I filled the space with veneer-finished furniture and a new sofa and chairs.... EVERY SINGLE ONE of these items outgasses chemicals into the air, sometimes for years...or forever.

Try some of the following in your home when you're doing your next redesign or remodeling, or are struggling with environmental sensitivities:

• Use no-VOC paints — SafeCoat is a great paint product if you're looking to stick to more typical color palettes

• Get solid wood furniture — these don't contain the poisonous glues found in most all laminated or veneer furniture

• Buy used furniture — if you can't get solid wood or super-healthy furniture, buying used is a great alternative! It's had time to outgas much of it's chemicals so they are less harmful to your system (your local craigslist.com can be an invaluable resource for fabulous used furniture!)

It's important to research and educate yourself on everything you bring into your home. When you can, support companies and organizations that provide sustainable and healthy, chemical-free products, like Gaiam (www.gaiam.com) or Green Nest (www.greennest.com) or Green for Baby (www.greenforbaby.com). These and MANY more like them are becoming more readily available. The more we support products like this, the lower the prices will get and the more that will become available. For those who HAVE the financial resources, I encourage you to GO GREEN whenever possible. You pave the way for those less-financially-fortunate that will follow. And as we all know, money talks!

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams

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JUST FOR FUN: Turtle Love

Meet my new friend, Edwin. He came and introduced himself [rather suddenly] at a course I took two weeks ago in Florida. Here we are sharing a strand of lettuce over a plate of salad. I believe it was love at first sight...

THE STORY OF STUFF

I HIGHLY recommend that everyone take a look at the following online movie. It's eye-opening, timely and is the information that can help transform our lives, our communities and most importantly, our planet!

www.StoryOfStuff.com


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LAST WEEK'S BACHELOR PAD EPISODE

Chris and Zulie Cassaburi, recent newlyweds, gathered together with a friends and family to celebrate the airing of their episode last Friday night as America watched Chris transform his bachelor pad into a home for two (and Zulie couldn't be happier!). Share in their excitement as they opened their lives to the cameras to celebrate their marriage and their future together!

Thanks again, Chris and Zulie! We all send our very best to a long, happy life together!

With love,

Stephanie

All Photos © Dave Harris

The Town of Allopath [www.Mercola.com]

Here's a humorous and powerful video addressing the state of health and nutrition in the world today, and our relationship with the food & drug companies.

This is a must-see, simply cut and paste the URL below into your browser. And make sure to join Dr. Mercola's newsletter and mailing list at the end for up-to-date and cutting-edge information:

http://mercola.fileburst.com/Flash/Allopath/newsubscribe.swf

HERO HIGHLIGHT: William McDonough & the "Cradle to Cradle" Concept

Wiliam McDonough is my new hero! His groundbreaking work and unbelievable influence is shifting the way major industries are working and producing, including heavy-hitters such as Gap Inc., Nike and Herman Miller, to name a few. His environmental approach is shifting peoples' focus toward ways we can BENEFIT the planet through commerce and consumption — SUSTAINABLE design — not just simply slowing down our damaging effects upon the earth, which is a radical new shift in thinking.

I'll be writing much more about William McDonough, and others like him, as well as about Bau-Biologie and what we can do to make a difference.


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KATIE'S CORNER: Jealousy & Love

Here's a great video clip from Byron Katie and her amazing and powerful process, "The Work". This work is by far has been the most transformational experience I've yet to have in my life, and I hope you're as moved as I am with her work. Enjoy!

A Special "Gift" for Christmas!

I just received this email from William and Jennifer Coleman. For those of you who follow the show, the Green Baby's Nursery was one of our most popular episodes yet! Well, the adoption process is complete! And now we actually have a gorgeous little face to go with the bedroom transformation. Her name couldn't be more appropriate for this holiday surprise for these two amazingly caring, dedicated parents – it's GiFT. Gift Coleman. She's 2 beautiful years old and is currently living in Liberia. And once her passport and visa are all finalized, she'll be on her way "home".

Now, how can you and I use the inspiration of this story to make our own difference? What positive thing or experience could you add to the planet, to your surroundings, to your family, or to a stranger today? What gift do YOU have to give?

Congratulations William and Jennifer! (Have you two ever considered adopting a 37 year-old red-head from Brooklyn?)

Lots of love to you all!

Stephanie

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

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FENG SHUI Q&A: How to Avoid a Stinky Kitty Box

QUESTION FROM LINDA:
"I saw a litter box on your show that looked like a plant. Do you know where I can find one?"

STEPHANIE'S ANSWER:
I'm glad you enjoyed this addition to the last episode! Often times when we put special attention or intention into small objects in our home that usually go unnoticed you get more inspiration to keep things clean, tidy and in good working order. Same goes for the cat litter box.

There are several other "hidden" kitty litter boxes available. You can simply google your description, Linda. I also just did a quick google search and found this one on sale for you - hope this helps!

Tuscany Hidden Plant Litter Box for $89.95:
http://www.petsbestproducts.com/

MEOW!

HOW "PLAYING IT SAFE" IS DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS

I'm typing this at the Philadelphia airport. I've just left an amazing PR Mastermind Summit where I was surrounded by successful, inspiring, generous and creative entrepreneurs. There is something magical about surrounding yourself with people who have surpassed where you are, who have achieved things you've only dreamed of, and who have polished and honed skills you've longed to perfect. This sort of community raises the bar to what is possible, showing you in living color that all you've dreamed of is, in fact, quite attainable. I saw people embracing new information, stepping out of their comfort zones, and humbling themselves to embrace feedback. Today all of us were standing on the edge of a new possibility. Some of us will be taking the leap off the edge in the hope and faith that some thing (or some force) will be there to add lift to our new found wings. Others may stand with their feet firmly planted, never to move. Either is perfect, although one path leads to expanse and freedom, and the other, fear and resistance. But every opportunity, whether expansive or not, provides insights into our next needed steps, the chance to see our limits more clearly, and another opportunity to do it all differently tomorrow.

Every moment of every day, sometimes subtly and sometimes not, we are given the opportunity to soar or to stand. Fly or fall. Run or walk. It's simply a choice of whether we let fear or faith lead the way. This is in no way to make light of how challenging life can feel at many moments. Many days in my life it was a huge accomplishment with a troop of angelic applause that I merely got up out of bed. ("Stephanie's out of bed...Can I get an Amen?".... "AMEN!"). But what makes us take either path when those more challenging moments present themselves on a prickly platter? Very likely it's that snide and sneaky belief "Something BAD will happen if I fail or feel this discomfort". This terror touches every topic from the fear of heights, public speaking, romantic breakups to the ironic flip-side — outrageous success. We've come to dread this physical sensation that we so plainly label fear. But is that factual? Is it truly fear? ...or rather the buzz of an exciting new adventure?

Until this past year, I too spent much of my time avoiding discomfort and dodging the drama of my perceived obstacles. I tried every technique, philosophy and modality I could to remove my inner angst so I could get on with leading a life I'd love. I tried, and tried... then tried some more... only to find those nagging, gnawing, palm-sweat shakes would always be there to greet me as I moved toward any new unknown.

Did you notice that my writing style just changed from present to past tense? So what shifted to put those fears in the background, and move me toward a more fear-free place? Good question. And not one that can be answered in this short format. But what I CAN tell you here is that I can testify from this side of the mountain is that it's not as bad as you think. Actually, it's not bad AT ALL! Quite the opposite. And I only wish someone would have taught me as a child that the knotted ball of buzzing in my belly was merely excitement and newness and the energy of possibility. After running from the buzz from 36 years, I've come to see that the monster that was chasing me was merely my shadow. Once I turned around and faced the light, it disappeared into nothingness, leaving a much stronger, sassier, wiser woman in it's place.

But does it ever go away for good? Honestly I'm not sure. But the beliefs AROUND the sensation absolutely are moldable. Do I still feel that buzzing? Absolutely... any new situation still sends my hands shaking, palms sweating and voice quivering. Why, just today I stood in front of this new MasterMind group only to have this same old reaction come up once again. But what I can tell you is that the mere act of moving through it dissolves it into the most empowered powdery kiss. What's different about me today is that I was willing to embrace a challenge, where I normally would have kept quiet, pretended to have it all together, avoid embarrassment at all cost, and...well...basically, played it safe. But today, in front of all my peers, I exposed my humanness and my pretty imperfection. The strength I've gained from shooting Fun Shui this past year has given me a whole new respect for any "perceived" discomfort. Having moved through some of my greatest fears — public speaking, being in front of a camera, and teaching to the masses — I've grown strong. I no longer need people to see me as perfect. I am human, I have feelings, I have great strengths, and I have an equal number of weaknesses. But I'm finding this is what makes life quite juicy. It's the merging into our greatest hurdles that give us our greatest triumphs.

I welcome all of you to pick one discomfort, fear or hurdle - no matter the size or intensity. Even a mild stretch to one person can be an enormous stretch to someone else. As long as we continue to move and morph and grow and change, we stay flexible, open and fluid.

Please post your triumphs over fear -- big or small -- here in the blog so others can become inspired by your action, and gain strength enough to embrace their own...

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC
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A STRESS-FREE HOLIDAY: GUARANTEED! 7 Simple Tips to Remove Holiday Stress

It's that time again... time for gatherings, celebrations and lots and lots of cheer. But are you wondering how feng shui and the holidays go together? Simply put, feng shui is the art of designing and arranging our environment so that we feel as good as we possibly can—and of course during the holidays feeling good is at the very tiptop of all our wish lists. So let's take a look at some quick and easy ways we can decorate and energize our spaces to ensure the most fabulous holiday season ever!

1. ADD GROUNDING & CALMING DECORATIONS
As we all know, color is an important part of the holiday festivities. We bring in sparkling & star-shaped decorations, brightly-colored accessories, red accents, blinking lights, fireplaces, candles, pointed evergreen trees and lots of playful figurines—all of these items falling into the "fire" element category in feng shui, and all meant to inspire celebration and holiday bliss.

Even though many of us thrive in the intense energy so common to this time of year, this fiery intensity can evoke more stress than joy for the rest of us. While all these bold decorations are festive and fun, also try bringing in grounding, earthy colors and elements such as glittering golds which can have a stabilizing effect on a space and help balance all the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Also consider incorporating calming and cooling deep blues and water elements, which can add a relaxing effect and help calm the nerves.

Other decorative ways to incorporate more soothing or grounding influences into your arrangements might be to:
• paint an accent wall a shimmering gold
• incorporating a golden yellow table cloth or earth tone napkins
• add sparkling golden ornaments & decorations in earth tones such a pumpkin, goldenrod, and chocolates
• exchanging red or brightly-colored, blinking tree lights with cooling blue or calming white strands
• try adding more mirrors around the home which have a soothing, watery effect, especially over fireplaces.
• adding soothing water features, cut-glass decorations, or reflective glass ornaments
• decorating the table with a glass bowl centerpiece full of water and floating candles

2. INCORPORATE ALL THE SENSES
So often the hustle and bustle of the season, along with our already-overloaded schedules can keep us up in our heads, instead of in our hearts. To help stay calm as well as connected to all our loved ones, using feng shui to help incorporate all your senses into your holiday decorating can be a fantastic and uplifting boost. When all the senses are present and enlivening, it automatically creates a grounding, soothing, and comforting effect on the body. Sensuality within the home's design helps bring people together and stay connected.

• Cook cider and cinnamon sticks to fill the home with a warm, welcoming scent
• incorporate fir and evergreen scented candles
• try adding 5 ml of natural essential oils into 1 gallon of paint which adds a soft, subtle yet inspiring scent to your rooms through the holidays as well as the rest of the year!
• Mix a new set of holiday music that fits all of your guests' ages and tastes to help liven up the mood, yet soft enough to allow conversation.
• incorporate relaxing background music to your holiday cooking, cleaning or shopping.
• Decorate with soft, cuddly throws & pillows in your gathering spaces.
• add flannels and warm wools to the guest room bedding.
• Arrange bowls of nuts, candy, dried fruit and other treats throughout your gathering space.

3. CREATE INVITING ARRANGEMENTS
Creating inviting seating and decorative arrangements in Feng Shui helps to send subtle, unconscious messages to your family and guests. It tells the world how open you are to receiving, and to embracing those who walk through the front door. When furniture is placed in an inviting manner, and your home is laid out so that you can comfortably and safely move through the space, it helps draw energy into your environment, as well as stay focused on embracing your loved ones during the holidays.

Holiday Alert: people in small, cramped spaces may get very feisty! Especially when entertaining large groups, try opening up your seating arrangements by clearing the space of any sharp edges, excess furniture or over-sized coffee tables that could block the flow of energy through the space. Also consider arranging your major seating to face toward the entrance to the room, almost in the gesture of a wide-open embrace. Especially with all the socializing that happens during the holidays, think of your furniture as guests at a gathering and arrange them in friendly, inviting, intimate positions. When you create a space that is open, welcoming and warm, it helps inspire those same traits in your guests, and draw positive energy into your life.

4. ENSURE HARMONIOUS DINING
Since most of our holiday gatherings focus around sharing meals together, designing an eating area conducive to harmony, connection and playful interaction is extremely important. First, make sure that everyone at your dining table has a beautiful view from their seat. If you're looking for more harmony in the home, try incorporating a round or oval table this season, which has a less formal feeling than rectangular or square tables. Try this tip, and watch the effects on your connections with loved ones. When everyone can clearly see everyone else, we naturally feel more connected, and it helps smooth out rough relationships and make everyone feel important and honored.

Also try keeping the chairs at a similar size and avoid the classic "king and queen" chairs during the holidays. Having everyone sitting in equally sized chairs helps to bring more connection, and less hierarchy, separation, aggression or dominant behavior.

And lastly, keep centerpieces nice and low. Large, tall or bulky centerpieces create symbolic rifts or divisions between your guests. Tabletop tip: if you're paring down your decorations in the rest of the house, here's a nice place to put shiny, colorful decorative arrangements if you'd like more energized eating experiences.

Watch this Friday's episode and learn many more tips about dining room Feng Shui: December 7th on HGTV / 9:30pm and 1:30am ET (check local listings)

5. BRING NATURE INDOORS
Nature automatically has a balancing effect on a space. By bringing in elements of nature, we create a serene environment. Decorating with plants, flowers and other objects from nature can help reduce stress and make your entire space soothing and inviting. Adding poinsettias, live evergreen trees, fresh wreaths, garland, holly berries and pine cones can be the perfect natural touch. Also try arrangements of colorful fresh fruit, bowls of nuts, or make strands of strung cranberries and popcorn, which can turn into a fun family ritual.

6. REDUCE CLUTTER
The holidays are almost always a time of gathering new possessions and gifts. But in feng shui, when our homes become stuffed, the energy in our homes become blocked and stagnant, prevently new experiences, people and abundance to come into our life. This time of year is the perfect time to celebrate the old, and make way for the new. By sorting and purging old belongings that nolonger are used or necessary, letting them go or passing them on to someone else, we not only create a more calming environment but also allow space for new things to enter. You'll feel lighter going into the new year, with more focus and clarity about the good times to come...

If holiday stress is a big issue, consider keeping holiday decorations to a minimum or contain them to one room. An excess of visual clutter can keep you from focusing on what's at hand...having FUN! Cards, holiday paper, gifts, bows, food, fruitcakes, decorations, lights and candles all can generate a lot of excess energy. If you find yourself less focused and more stressed during the holidays, paring down might be just the thing...

7. CREATE SACRED SPACE
Don't forget this last, but most important step: creating a sacred personal space just for you!

At the end of the day, make sure to take time out for yourself. As you decorate your home for family and friends, make sure to create a separate space, room, or even just a chair, solely for you. Having a comfortable area where you can go to unplug and recharge will give you the energy to handle all of the holiday's many challenges. Find a small spot away from the rest of the family, incorporate your favorite colors, sounds, textures and lighting that fills you up and centers your spirit.

Here's one of the ways I keep myself feeling nurtured during the holidays: Fill a basket with a delicious tea, a scented candle, a soft blanket, writing journal and favorite book and keep it in your special place when you need a little pick-me-up. Do something solely for yourself and that energy will ripple throughout the entire season. Making sure you have a private place - sacred space - helps you to regroup, and by touching that core of ourselves, it opens our hearts, keeps us reminded of the true meaning of the season, and why we come together in the first place.

YOUR HOLIDAY HOMEWORK:
Grab a piece of paper and write down numbers 1 through 7. Beside each number write down one thing you will do in each of the categories above to help create a more calming holiday season for you and your family. Make your choices simple enough that you can accomplish one a day for the following week. This way you'll have plenty of time before the holidays hit to feel grounded, calm and joyful. Now that you've made your list, and have checked it twice, let's see who's going to have a naughty or nice holiday this season! If you follow the steps above, my guess for the happiest holiday household would be.... YOU!

Happy Stress-Free Holidays to All, and to All a Good Night....


© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

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FENG SHUI Q&A: Colors and the Feng Shui Floor Plan

QUESTION
Terri writes: "Will the house look garish if you use all the colors in the guas?"

ANSWER
Stephanie: Well, it sure could! I like that you asked this question, and this is often a confusing subject. Yes, if you painted each of the 9 areas of the floor plan a different color, it could easily look more like a circus than a home. Yes, there are colors and shapes and objects that generally apply to each area of the feng shui floor plan (or "bagua" map). And yes, they an be nice additions at times when you're wanting to make a shift to specific areas of the map. But since we're all different people, with very different personalities, paths and life experiences, it wouldn't make sense for everyone to paint their wealth area purple, or paint their Relationship area pink. This is where things can get a bit tricky in terms of arranging and designing your own space.

There are many factors that come into play when choosing colors for a person's home. When working with clients, I ask myself where I sense the person out of balance, and what colors would help to move them forward to the life they internally long for. I also take a look at the structure of the home, and see which areas are needing a bit of a kick. Using the feng shui floor plan is actually down on my list of important things to consider when applying feng shui to a space, or selecting colors. My biggest focus is who you are, where you're at, and where you're hoping to be in the next few years.

So what do you do what that information? Well, you may be even more confused now that you were before in terms of selecting colors for your home. Other than calling me for a phone, virtual or in-person consultation (which I obviously would recommend first), try tuning in with a journal and asking yourself the following questions:

• What colors am I drawn to and use regularly in my home's design? (often times this is the color that is unconsciously holding you back or keeping you stuck - we gravitate toward what's familiar, and not what will inspire growth & change)

• Am I needing more energy in the next few years, or am I needing calming, grounding, or healing instead? (Bold, cleaner or brighter colors can evoke energy, muted and neutral tones can provide grounding. Cooler colors can calm, while warmer colors can heat things up. Try to select colors that speak to that inner "knowing" of where your soul longs to travel in the next handful of years).

• Is there an aspect of my personality that is in an extreme state? Either extremely nervous, or bold, or shy, or distracted, etc.? Choosing colors that help elementally dampen down those characteristics and build up other traits can be a big boost too.

• Am I afraid of adding color (or certain colors) to my home? And if so, why? Most homes in America are white, beige or tan. I believe we do this simply out of habit, as well as out of resistance. Colors evoke emotions, so often times we will unconsciously keep color out of our environments due to a fear of change, or a desire to avoid certain emotional issues. But on a deeper soul level, we are here on this planet to do exactly that – to change, to learn and to grow! Color can be the biggest and best way to inspire transformation in our lives, and it's a shame that most of us avoid it.

Please continue to ask questions surrounding color selection, and we can take this discussion deeper as more specific questions are asked.

Happy Painting!!!


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© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

Are You in Resistance...or Flow?

A dear friend of mine recently told me: "In our lives, we are either in resistance or flow." I found this statement to be both simple and powerful... and most of all, true.

What we are aspiring to achieve is a fluid, flowing experience through life, much like a smooth drift down a river's path...bending easily with each turn and twist, not going too slow, not rushing too fast. When things veer left, we go left. When things turn right, we float right. That is peace. That is balance. That is happiness. Many of us (and probably more accurately, MOST of us) are in a state of resistance to life. When we see a bend coming in the river, we scramble, scurry and peddle like mad to swim up-river in the attempt to avoid the upcoming curve. We burn energy, we worry, we defend and we panic in hopes to avoid a (perceived) collision or catastrophe. But the one thing we can 100% count on in life is that thing will change. Events will come our way. Situations will come, situations will go. People will be born, and people will die. Jobs will appear, and jobs will disappear. Of that we can be sure of.

But our brains are tricky little buggers. We often times live under the delusion that we are in charge and in control of everything in life. And while I'm a huge believer in manifesting (which I will be writing about next week), sometimes "shit happens", and it's how we embrace life that is truly the deepest blessing...or curse. We either become rigid and controlling, or we learn to bend, flex and flow with life. When we get scared of change, we get brittle. We avoid people, situations, or things that could disturb our tight little world. And you can imagine what happens to the brittle person when surprises spring up - That's right, they BREAK. I dated a man once who had become so rigid that simple things like moving a lamp, cleaning dishes the wrong way, touching germs or eating foods that weren't on his limited "healthy" list would send him into a complete and total emotional melt-down. He deemed this behavior to be spiritual. But all I saw was a man that was controlling and terrified.

Now don't get similar-looking behavior confused with someone who is CARE-ful (full of care) in life. I know people who watch what they eat, are precise with their homes and arrangements and cleanliness, and are conscientious with all that they do and say. But this is NOT to be confused with rigidity. These people are also highly skilled with flowing and flexing with life. They embrace and revel in the surprises and turns. Being THOUGHT-ful or CARE-ful is FAR different that being outright anal-retentive, although on the outside they can often appear to be quite similar.

Keep in mind too that being too loosy-goosy (I can often fall into this category!) is also an imbalance. Flowing with things is different that being all over the place, with no boundaries or containment. Just like the river, we need the bank to hold and hug the water as it twists and flows. Without containment, you have a flood instead of a river.

That being said, how does one embrace "What Is"? How do we learn to accept reality, and welcome change when it sometimes can scare the pants off of us? Ah, baby steps... baby steps...

I like to notice smaller, less dramatic moments in life that support this theory. It comforts me, and helps me see the beautiful choreography of this mysterious world. The Universe is here to support us, and is full of abundance beyond our wildest dreams. The Universe isn't out to get us, or to make us miserable (although often times our life circumstances appear to be otherwise). If we can take a deeper look at the workings of our life, and ask some pivotal questions, we can sometimes see the kindness beneath the turmoil. Perhaps everything IS for our highest good after all....

Let's take the events of my past Monday as a mini-example.

I wake up, with the expectation of my assistant showing up at 10am. 10:30 rolls around and she's still not here. 11 comes and goes. Noon hits and she's no where to be seen. I email several times, no reply. Hm.... I have a choice right now: get my panties in a twist, or just roll with the punches.

A knock at the door. I open it to see my lovely friend, Alana, who cleans my house every 2 weeks... and also a young girl standing beside her. I'm confused... "Stephanie, my daughter was off school, and not feeling well.... so I brought her with me".

"Fantastic! Come on in!"

As I start talking to the 16 year old daughter, she tells me that she's got a cold.... and as we start to talk I learn that her heart's been broken by a recent break up.... sigh... we've all been there! So she and I sit and talk for 3 solid hours. I learn everything about he life, her hurts, her frustration, sadness and anger at her boyfriend, and I proceed to load her up with special teenage-specific pick-me-ups — just the thing for a broken teen heart. We bond. I gain a new friend. And at the end of the 3 hours, mom, daughter and I stand crying in the kitchen over the love between these two, the confusion of puberty, and the misunderstandings between mother and daughter. They hug, I scoot them out the door with goodies in hand, and stand on my stoop waving good bye. What an amazing day. One that I KNOW would not have happened if my assistant HAD shown up. I felt love and gratitude that God so beautifully choreographed the day's events to give me time with this young, hurting girl.

And as I smile and turn to go back inside, I realize that I have no keys...and am standing barefoot in winter, in the middle of Brooklyn, still wearing my pajamas.... You gotta luv that visual.

I look all around, pondering how I can gain access to my apartment. Then I see one of my neighbors halfway down the block. "VICKI! Are you coming, or going?" I find out she's leaving for the weekend, but is kind enough to turn around to let me back into the building. But JUST as she arrives at the stoop, she looks down and gasps! Her keys had fallen from her pocket upon her recent exit and they were lying there on the steps, waiting to potentially be snatched up by the first passer-by. I laughed with delight, as did she, at the divine perfection of my current situation. I could stomp and stew about my current situation, or rather "go with the flow". It took me getting locked of my apartment for Vicki to find her keys. And that's the way ALL of life actually is, although most times it's not as clear-cut as this. But moments like this remind me that there is some sort of higher order. There is some sort of gift to each challenge, whether we can see it in the moment or not.

Now, this is in no way to make light of life's more challenging topics such as cancer, poverty, the loss of a job, home, spouse or child. But when faced with challenges like this, I like to try on a new way of thinking. I like to stretch my mind as if I'm writing a fairytale. If I had to write the story of this tough situation, and the outcome HAD to prove that the world was innately good, what would I write? How would I make up the ending so that it brought a smile to my face and more love to my heart? How could I explain this event so that it might, just might, make some semblance of sense? Call it psychological trickery, or just downright faith, it helps me to be more playful, think outside the box, and stretch my realm of possibilities. And most of all, live a happier, more loving life.

So next time life "hits", try asking these questions first:

• What might the world be trying to teach me in this situation?
• What can I learn through this?
• How can I use this situation to better myself?
• What if this situation was creating an opportunity or gift for someone else, even though I may never know or see the effects... how would I feel about this challenge then?
• If the world IS supportive and kind, how might this situation actually be to my benefit? How could I somehow view this challenge as a gift?

Going with the flow, or swimming upstream — when the river of YOUR life takes its next turn, how will you take the ride?

I say float on, float on, float on...


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TONIGHT'S TESTIMONIALS

"I really like this show and Stephanie has such a positive upbeat attitude. It is refreshing and fun!

I can't believe how she uses color, it really works. At first I thought that there was no way the colors she chose on tonights episode would work, but WOW! I would never have been able to put those colors together and make them look so good.

Everything she says about flow and energy just makes sense. I don't think I ever really thought about how our surroundings can impact our lives. Now, I'm looking at everything around me and thinking of how it relates to my energy and attitude.

I think that it is great to have a show that not only addresses design, but also how design can make a difference in peoples lives."

TONIGHT'S TESTIMONIALS

I've received several beautiful sentiments, emails and calls tonight regarding this most recent episode of Fun Shui. But the following email I just received was so beautiful, I wanted to share it with all of you....

"My husband and I both had tears tonight as the Fun Shui program closed. Stephanie's tenderness, thoughtfulness and insights into the heart of her subject and clients were a rairity for tv. Yes, the room was beautiful. Yes, it was "green". Yes, the tree, painted by the parent's hands, sheltered the crib in a perfect metaphor. Yes, the future rock from their new daughter's soil is touching.... But it is the large photo of the new mom and dad, that she will see from her crib, as she learns to identify with her new safe and loving family that will bond her to her own self-love and strength. We could all feel that. This is the kind of show that changes people. Thank you, Stephanie. —Jackie"

Thank you, all of you, for all your continued support for the show. I am profoundly moved.

With love,

Stephanie


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SURPRISE!

I saw this sign years ago. My mother and I were driving back from my grandparent's farm and I saw this out of the corner of my eye. I laughed so hard I about peed my pants, and I BEGGED my mom to stop the car. But it was getting late and she wanted to get home. I had no idea where we were, and assumed I'd never see that comical view again. So this image has been burned into my mind for the past many, many years... (and it always brings a grin to my face)

Then when I was in Indiana 2 months ago visiting my family, I took a drive out to the farm country with my dad and my boyfriend. I told them the tale of the ironically placed sign, and how much I regret passing up that David-Letterman-eque photo op so many moons ago... "If ONLY I knew where that sign was!" I sighed... But JUST as I was finishing my story, I look up to see... yes, you guessed it!... the infamous sign.

I squealed with delight. I can't remember the last time I felt so giddy. We looped back, parked the car, and I proceeded out into the middle of the street with my camera, my dark sense of humor feeling instantly gratified.

So what did I learn from all this? Here's my Top 10 List:

1. Never pass up an opportunity
2. If you believe an opportunity HAS passed, it may just magically reappear one day
3. Live every day of your life to it's fullest, so that there's no "SURPRISE" at the end
4. Having distracting (yet humorous) signage could prove hazardous to a driver's health
5. ALWAYS carry your camera
6. Perhaps death isn't the serious thing we've cracked it up to be
7. Lighten up, and take time out to enjoy the little laughs along the road of life
8. God has a pretty great sense of humor
9. Boyfriends who are willing to take roadtrips to farms with your dad are pretty great boyfriends
10. There are actually towns named "Surprise"...Who knew?!

So, what small things are YOU passing up on your life's journey? What light, giggly moments do you waltz past, only to hold onto regrets and longing? How can you stop to smell the roses (or photograph the signs) a bit more in your life? How can you lighten up, giggle more, and experience more pee-your-pants silly-fests?

Life is full of light and love and humor. I challenge you to prove me wrong...

Ready...

Set...

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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SPRING INTO FALL

Well, it's that cuddly time of year once again - time to pull out the thick blankets, flannel pajamas, hot chocolate and winter coats!

Even though we live in modern times with modern conveniences, it's easy to unplug from nature and the change of seasons. We live in air conditioned or heated rooms, travel in weather-proofed cars and remain sheltered for much of our working hours. To help reduce stress as well as stay in the natural rhythm of our bodies and our biology, it can be a very powerful to go with the flow, so to speak. Honoring our body's fall and winter cravings for heavier foods, slower pace and warmer environments can work wonders for most overworked Americans.

Also consider this a time to honor your home's natural rhythm. Creating rituals around your home during the change of season can be cathartic and healing. Try on the following this month as you dress your home for the winter months:

• Throw away (or give away) all things that are no longer serving you or moving you forward
• Change the drapes, blankets, pillows and throws to warmer, heavier or softer materials
• Switch out decorations throughout the house with ones dedicated solely for the colder months
• Switch out your wardrobe, coats and shoes to make room for bulkier winter wear
• Sort through cabinets, drawers, and closets and let go of anything that went unused this past year
• Make space in all areas of your life in order to make room for new and wonderful things to come in 2008!


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FEATURED FRIENDS: Pamela Rich

Holistic Nutrition – Nourishing the Whole You!
with Pamela Rich, HHC

Did you know that it’s not just what you eat, but
how you eat that affects whether food and its nutrients
are being digested properly?!

That’s right – many things go into how the food we
eat affects our overall Chi. If we eat in a stressed
state – on the run, in the car, standing at the counter–
our sympathetic nervous system shuts down our
digestion and metabolism. This can really “weigh”
(no pun intended!) on our Chi.

So what do we do to make sure our food is fueling
our good energy and keeping us healthy and happy –
SLOW DOWN! Take a few deep breaths before eating.
This will take everything down a notch allowing your
digestion to get turned back on.

Guiding you to a healthier life!
Pamela Rich
Holistic Health Counselor
Board Certified, AADP
516.624.2332 www.bestyoucanbenow.com

Some Fun Feng Shui Reading:

I've been emailed several times about what feng shui books are good to start with if you're wanting to learn more. I also just noticed people asking this question on the HGTV online community. Here's my thoughts:

Go pick up either:

The Western Guide to Feng Shui
The Western Guide to Feng Shui, Room by Room

These are both by Terah Kathryn Collins, and are wonderful primers. They follow the form-school of Feng Shui, which is very practical and easily understood by our western minds and lifestyles. The Western Guide was the first book I ever ready, and is what inspired me to move forward with my current career. So I hope you enjoy!

Once you've ready those two, try the following more advanced texts:

Feng Shui: Harmony By Design by Nancy SantoPietro
Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston
nterior Design with Feng Shui by Sarah Rossbach

These are some of my all time favorite books, and I still continue to refer to them...They all are very practical, easy to understand and are loaded with powerful feng shui insights.

Enjoy!


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TO DINE, OR NOT TO DINE...That Is The Question

QUESTION:

"This sounds a bit naughty....BUT What is a power spot and where would I find it in the bedroom?

Oz and I loved your show on Friday and my "yeah-but" about putting the office in the dining room is that the resale value of the home would go down if this sweet couple tried to sell the home without a formal dining room. You are helping to stretch me out of my comfort zone about what a home is about and how it is a place to serve, comfort and support people, not the other way around." -- Marianne

STEPHANIE: Marianne, this is why I love this forum -- because in a half-hour show we can only cover so much information. But here we can go much deeper. And I'm sure lots of people have the same exact question about removing the dining room.

Let's start with that juicy question. First, regarding the resale value of the house. I completely hear that as a valid issue. Here's my concern about that.... So often we get worried about doing the right thing for down-the-road and we don't end up living fully in the now. We can end up worrying so much about what will happen when we sell a house (which could possibly be decades away) that we miss out on the opportunity to express ourselves, be creative, and fulfill our deepest life goals in this moment. Now, if the family said they were moving in 2 months, I might have gone a different approach, but in this situation, they had every plan on staying in this home. If they were to sell the home, this would be very easy to re-stage and a simple move of furniture could have that room back to it's original layout in one day, especially since it wasn't anything more permanent like a kitchen. Ever situation is unique of course -- in this particular situation, I can't imagine this would affect their resale value.

I have a good friend who did just this. He moved into his home years ago and really made it his - he painted unusual colors, but colors that inspired him immensely. He used his entire home to support his life. During the years he lived there he thrived, and met his soul mate - things honestly couldn't be better for him. But if he would have played it safe, and his home hadn't become the playful, optimistic oasis that it was, I'm not sure if things would be as good today. When he sold his house recently, I almost think that people could literally feel the love and joy in his home, and they wanted a bit of that good feeling. He was in a market where lots of comperable houses were sitting unsold, but his sold quite quickly. So you just never really quite know how life will turn out, but living fully in the moment simply can't hurt!

It boils down to thinking outside the box, breaking the rules that have come before us, asking ourselves from a deep place "what do I long to do?", and making sure our homes support us, instead of us supporting the home.

Also, my biggest concern was to address the fact that this couple was struggling financially and that Karen was feeling extremely unfulfilled in her career. If we didn't address those issues -- getting some abundant energy swirling around in that unused wealth corner, as well as urging Karen to fulfill her own career path -- then they very well might have needed to sell that house sooner than they'd hope!

If Karen's dream is to coach women and start a home business (I realize these details didn't make it into the show), then it was vital that her home speak to these dreams. To have a room, especially on the main floor, go unused is similar to not using your left leg over time. The ramifications of stagnant energy are evident. Since they never used the dining room it would be extremely easy for this family to simply pull out some card tables and have a warm, welcoming gathering. Their home was quite big, with plenty of space to do this in their kitchen and living room, which already had a full dining table and chairs. Remember, the joy that comes from gatherings with friends and family is about the love that is shared between people, and can happen anywhere there is joy.

Often times we do things just because we haven't thought NOT to do them any longer. We get passed down ideas of how we should live by our ancestors. I see this all the time... We have a belief that we should all have a dining room, whether it serves our lifestyle and goals or not. More and more, people are letting go of their formal dining rooms because of this, and more and more home offices are actually taking their place. It's an individual matter, one only YOU can answer. If you use your dining room and love it, by all means you should keep it! It's serving you and bringing you and your guest's joy. But if there's a way the space could serve your life better, then that's something to consider...

What we most want to focus on is making sure that the people living IN the home are well supported and inspired. When they are truly happy and fulfilled in their lives, they will naturally become better friends, better spouses, etc. Then when they welcome people into their home, they will be an inspiration to those that come in contact with them, instead of putting the guests' needs before the family's own happiness and fulfillment. The ripple effect on the planet if just one family changes their lives and becomes more joyful could be staggering. They will teach abundance & love simply by their example. Because of this redesign, Karen is coaching women and making a difference in so many, many people's lives - that to me is far better than having a pretty, yet unused, dining room.

POWER SPOTS:

Let me know if this clarifies power spots for you a bit more....

Keep in mind, in the string of evolution, we're not really that far removed from cave men. Modern life has happened quite rapidly and we still have primitive instincts that are in good working order. One of them is the natural desire to feel safe and protected. When we have our back's to an activity, we feel vulnerable. We can't see who's approaching, whether they're friend or foe, and have no reaction time if some one or some thing was about to attack us. Now granted, that rarely happens in one's family room, but the instinct is still there.

As often as possible, and especially with the larger pieces of furniture, we like to be facing the entrance or main expanse of the room. This is the location I would call the "power spot", or the location farthest and opposite the entrance into a space, since you feel most in command of what's in front of you and therefore feel more empowered. Not every piece of furniture can sit that way I realize, but try to make sure your desk, bed, sofa, and if possible, your stove, can give you a view into the room. If this isn't possible, try using mirrors (or a painting hung wth reflective glass, etc.) that will allow you to see behind you.

I hope that helps! Feel free to ask more questions if you'd like more clarification!

My thanks goes to Marianne for her amazing questions - thank you for taking the time to ask!!!


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