Using Judgements as Internal Guidance
This week I had a few "less than savory" moments. Thoughts that I'm not too proud of. Behavior that made me think "Have I actually come very far?"...
Have you ever had days like this? If you're human, I'm sure you're nodding yes...
But after years of self-reflection (and even more years of judgemental thinking), I've come to see that these darker moments can be the most amazing gifts, if looked at in just the right light.
When I stop and take a closer look at a handful of my thoughts from this past week...
• My boyfriend shouldn't be so negative
• New York is an intense and stressful city
• I should weigh less and stop eating so much
• My friend should see that her actions are keeping her stuck in negative patterns
• My brother shouldn't be so obnoxious
...and I turn them around...
• I shouldn't be so negative
• I am an intense and stressful person (sometimes)
• My thinking should weigh less (or be lighter)
• I should see that my actions are keeping me stuck in negative patterns (sometimes)
• I shouldn't be so obnoxious by judging my brother
...then I get the amazing opportunity to make a change in my thinking, which is the only thing I really have any control over in this world. When I hold a judgement about someone else, in that very moment I AM being exactly what I'm judging them for. In the moment I'm seeing someone as hateful, I am being hateful. When I see someone as negative, I am being negative. I am doing exactly what I'm wanting THEM not to do. And in that realization I have the opportunity to join with them and feel compassion.
People will continue to do what they do. I can try and try and try some more to change the people in my life, but at the end of the day it always comes back to me. If I think it's so easy for people to change, how about starting with me? How about being a teacher of all the things I'm expecting people to do? How about living what we expect others to live?
I've come to a very VERY humbling compassion for humanity when I've done these "turn arounds". And perhaps everyone is doing the very best they could. And perhaps my own brain is giving me all the tools I'd ever need to create a more peaceful, loving human being right here inside THIS body, THIS mind.
All I know is, if I want peace on the planet, let it start with me. Let me walk my talk. Let me live my own "turn-arounds". Let me do all the things I'm expecting others to do. Let me be a more compassionate and loving human being, just for the simply selfish fact that it FEELS good inside to do so.
What "turn-around" could YOU live today?
(visit www.thework.org for more information)
© 2006 Stephanie McWilliams
