What You See is What You Get

Call me crazy, but I believe that thoughts are real. There's a sort of energetic substance to them that I can't quite grasp with my human mind, but I know it's there. And I believe our thoughts about others carry weight - more than we'd care to realize, as has been my experience.

I remember a long time ago, a mentor of mine was talking to me about her daughter. She said she was watching her get out of the bathtub and had the thought that her daughter was too fat. In that moment she had a powerful realization, and said "I don't want to give her that gift anymore". She saw that she was adding to her daughter's burden, and my friend saw in that moment the very real, tangible effects her judgements.

I see it much like playing a sport. And our thoughts are the ball. So ask yourself, are our thoughts being gladly caught by the recipient? Or are you pelting them mercilessly? Just because your judgements don't come out of your mouth, they are very likely still being felt by the receiver. I became aware of this reality when a close friend was always getting frustrated with me for one thing or another. I could physically feel when she was upset with me, sometimes it would hit me out of the blue like a punch in the gut, and I knew somehow I was back on her shit-list. That experience taught me everything about the power and substance of our thoughts...

Think of people in your life. Whether it's the super-shy co-worker that may have unusual interpersonal skills, or the raging boss who lashes out randomly, or the homeless woman in your neighborhood, or your spouse who won't help with the dishes... Next time you have a judgement, picture that ball. Are they wanting to play? Are they appreciating what you're tossing their way? Or are you tossing rocks instead, adding to their already-challenged lives? What thoughts could you give them instead that might lift them up? What ball could you toss their way that they'd be thrilled to catch?

I've noticed that when I've thought wonderful things about people, I get people acting wonderfully all through my life. And when I've expected the worst from people, I've gotten that very thing in return. I've stood in front of people who saw nothing but the beauty and perfection in me, and in those moments, I was transformed and capable of things beyond my imagination. I've also stood before people who've condemned me, and felt that heavy burden too. We're much, much more powerful than we could ever realize.

So often I've met people who are struggling (whether in depression and hopelessness, or in rage and anger) who have fallen into deeply engrained patterns - everyone in their life now seesing them in a certain, limited light. This can be energetically challenging (to put it lightly) to the receiver, making change feel next-to-impossible. With each judgement tossed out, a greater burden they get to carry.

So stop for a moment the next time you make a judgement. Very likely the person you're judging is having a much harder time than you. So try being empathetic, strong, and compassionate. See what kinds of reactions you get... You may be pleasantly surprised!