TURNING FEAR INTO FUN!
Hello from Sunny L.A....
I'm writing to you as I fly above from warm and sunny LA. on my way to Salt Lake City, Utah to spend an amazing week at the Sundance Film Festival. What an exciting and exhilarating time for me as I meet so many new and wonderful people, explore new places and stretch myself far outside my comfort zone.
I've thought so often of all of you -- our growing EvolvingArts Family -- and pondered what I'd share this week in the My Cup of Chi newsletter. What aspects of these past few days would I choose to highlight? What tidbits of wisdom have I gained in the past several days? What lessons that I've embraced would you most likely find helpful for your own lives?... Honestly, there's far too much to write during this short flight. But let me begin with my continued amazement at the power of pushing through FEAR...
Fear. That's right. Fear. It's the pervasive feeling that keeps most of us stuck in place, creating the hamster-wheel momentumless spin through life that we all wish would stop, but are just too darn scared to do otherwise. But why is this? Why do we avoid living our dreams and embracing all of life's bounty? Why are we shivering in our britches? Just how bad could it be to "face our fears and do it anyway", as they say?
Reality is far different than the stubborn beliefs that are keeping us in our own unique holding patterns. Deep down, if we're brave enough to be bluntly honest with ourselves, we think that moving into our deepest fears would do us in, poof us into a puff of smoke, shriven us deep into the ground, or make us squeal and bolt for the door. It's these dramatic images and intense emotions that whisper "Stay where you are, play it safe, and everything will be just fine. No rockin' the boat today, baby -- it's a dangerous, dark world out there so stick with me kid, and things will all be fine".
Yet, as a representative of someone who's jumped off the cliff of the unknown a few times now, faced many of my GREATEST fears, and lived to tell the tale from the other side, I guarantee that little voice is a big, fat, GIANT liar. After this week I continue to see more and more clearly the power fear has played in my life, how much it has held me back, how much pain and stress and depression it has caused, and how comically silly these fears are once I've shined the light of bravery onto them. They're nothing. Empty. Powerless. And outright silly.
About two years ago when I first met my Fun Shui producer Amelia, I was your typical "Play It Safe" girl. But I could sense there was more, and I was finally brave enough to tell the world I was ready for it. But even though I had shouted to the Universe "BRING IT ON!", when the real deal came my way... well, I basically wanted to pee my pants. I was scared. I was terrified. I had thoughts like: "I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not thin enough. I don't know enough. I'll be too nervous. People will find out I'm a fraud. Something bad might happen. I simply can't live through this amount of physical and emotional discomfort." And to be honest, I almost lost the show.
Then one day Amelia called, after a few months of me stalling, waiting, preparing, and hoping the terror of being in front of a
camera (and all of America) would go away. She finally said the magic words: "Babe, maybe this just isn't meant to be". Well, that moment was the longest second of my life. Like the classic "life flashing before your eyes" scenario, it literally happened. But I didn't see my past. I only saw my future. I saw the end - myself on my own death bed - and I had a good long look at that inevitable scenario. How will I feel, lying there at the end of my life, having run from this opportunity? What am I most afraid will happen if I let this opportunity go? How will I feel if I DO take this opportunity, yet might possibly end up failing miserably and making a ginormous boob of myself on national television? How will I feel? How will I feel? How will I feel?".
And it hit me. Like a brick to the head. No humiliation, failure or ridicule could ever top the feeling of letting fear rule my life. So instead of my previous stalling, I started walking boldly forward, scheduling a film shoot, making the plans, and preparing for the day. I was scared, but I did it anyway. I felt sick, but I showed up. I wanted to hide, but I pulled myself together and moved forward.
And the rest is history. My fears were unfounded. And I'm now finding out that when there is great fear, there is also great passion and fulfillment just lurking underneath. We are afraid of those things we care about. We are scared around situations that could bring us the most joy. And so this is what I experienced this past week in LA. Once again, I stepped up to the plate and walked head-first into a whole new level of fears - speaking with people that would previously have rocked me to the core. Talking about ideas and trying on new adventures that I couldn't have even daydreamed about just a few years ago. And here's the great news for all of you: IT GET'S EASIER!!!!
The more we practice moving through fear, the more our mind starts to learn about truth about reality. And trust me, truth and reality are far different that the garbage that rattles around in our brains. You come to see that the fears are unfounded. Life is here to support us if we step up and embrace what things come our way. It is kind, not out to get us. The more we understand this, on a deep cellular level, we become capable of taking on challenges that we previously believed would kill us. We strengthen our muscle of bravery. We easily become capable of great things, great projects, great love, great compassion, and great joy and fulfillment. Life's colors go from the basic 8-crayon box to the super-swank 64 box with the sharpener built into the side. There is a rainbow of complexity and magic and abundance beyond our wildest dreams, just waiting for us to open our eyes and take the needed steps. And all of this wonderment is just a belief away.
So what's your next step? What's your next fear to push through? What one jumped hurdle would bring you immense joy?
I am living proof that it is possible. I have lived in limitation. I have lived in fear. And I still do at times. But I have also begun to experience the very opposite. May you too all march to the other side of fear. Join me on the other side - it's still a bit lonely over here -- we could use a few more members. I'll be here when you arrive!
© 2008 Stephanie McWilliams LLC
