Sunday, January 7, 2007

There's a Little Good And Bad in Everyone


I was thinking today about my dark side. I was telling some girlfriends a humbling story of a past relationship and the rather embarrassing behavior I had secretly tolerated.

That conversation got me looking back over my life and seeing all the energy I've put into alleviating or hiding those shameful parts of myself. I remember thinking when I was younger that if I could just somehow get rid of the "less than enlightened" bits, then everything would be ok. And so I set out on a path to tear out, remove, stomp on and squash to bits the little devil that resides inside.

But through that process, over the many, many years, I've also started to appreciate and honor my "dark side". I've realized that the self-abuse and self-hatred that I inflicted did nothing to remove this, but only added more self-imposed abuse and hatred.

We all, every last one of us, have the opposites living within us. The Yin and the Yang, if you will. As "good" as I am, I'm equally bad at times. As funny as I am, I'm equally serious. As beautiful as I can be, I can be downright ugly too. I've stopped trying to get rid of parts of myself, and try more and more now to embrace these little inner characters. I've got a whole parade of different personalities within this person they call "Stephanie". I've found that the more compassionate I am with all aspects of myself — the good, the bad and the ugly — the quieter many of those sneaky little voices have gotten. The more I'm willing to acknowledge my darkness, the more light shines in.

Where can you shine some light, love and compassion on yourself today?
What parts of your secret-self do you have a hard time embracing?
What tender thing could you do for yourself today that would show yourself that you're on your own side?

Just a thought...

Devilishly yours (wink-wink),

Stephanie

©2007 Stephanie McWilliams

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