FEATURED FRIENDS: Carol Skolnick

Inquire Your Way to Internal Feng Shui
by Carol Skolnick

Feng Shui is the art of allowing and creating a clear and uplifting energy flow in the physical environment, the places where we spend time: home, office, garden. When there is a lot of clutter in the physical space, it's harder to live happily and with clarity—whether it's a garage full of useless old junk that displaces your car, a living room crowded with books and toys, or a home-office robbing your bedroom of restfulness and romance. When there is balance and beauty without, it has a positive affect on the space within, the mind and heart.

The opposite is also true. Internal clutter—old beliefs that cause stress or suffering—very often manifest as chaos in the home or workplace. A messy desk may be a symptom of a messy mind. A closet full of old clothes is a closet full of beliefs: "I may need these things someday," "If I throw things out, it means I wasted my money," or "I don't have time to deal with this."

If you find yourself reluctant to change or clear your space, you may find it helpful to do some mental housekeeping first. A simple self-inquiry technique called The Work of Byron Katie can create just the "head room" you need.

The Work is a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. That sounds lofty, but it is really very simple: the technique consists of four questions, and a "turnaround." The premise of The Work is equally simple: when we believe thoughts that are not 100% true for us, we experience stress, which affects our health, our relationships, our efficacy at work, and our creativity. When we meet our stressful thoughts with understanding, they eventually fall away as the truth, which is more compelling, comes to light. This creates a spaciousness inside that translates to a better relationship with our environment.

Here's an example of how The Work's "internal Feng Shui" works:

Belief: I may need these things someday.

Question 1: Is it true?

Yes. I might lose weight. I may need the old suit for a job interview. My husband loves his ancient sweatshirts and insists he will wear them.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know that it's true?

Well, no. I haven't fit into some of this stuff in years. George never even wears sweatshirts anymore. If I decide to look for another job, I will probably want something newer and more polished for my interviews than this out-of-style suit.

Question 3: How do you react when you believe that thought? (What happens?)

When I believe the thought, "I may need these things someday," I become nervous about cleaning out the closets. I put it off, and the closets just get more crammed. I can't find anything. I don't even know what I have. I worry about making a mistake about getting rid of things. I see my stuff as irreplacable. I fear regret and loss. I see myself arguing with my partner about his things, having to back down, and resenting him for it. I get a queasy feeling in my stomach, and I feel tired. I end up wasting time on the phone or on the internet instead of straightening up the closets. It feels like my belongings are controlling my life.

Question 4: Who would you be without this thought?

I would be calmer and more present. I would not be so attached to things. I would be grateful for the joy my things have given me, which would make it easier to let them go. I would happily donate some of my things I don't use to a thrift shop, where someone else might find them useful. I'd let myself have new clothes, and I'd be excited about updating my look. I would stay out of my husband's business, and instead collaborate with him about the closets, instead of trying to control him. I'd have a lot more energy.

Turn the thought around. What is the opposite of your original belief?

I may not need these things someday.

Is this as true or truer?

Yes, it could be just as true.

Give three genuine examples of how this turnaround is true in your experience.

So far, I have not needed the things I can't even find and don't know I have! I'm not trying to lose weight now, because I feel healthy and comfortable at my current size...so it could be a very long time before I'd need those clothes, if ever. My tastes have changed and it could be that I wouldn't want to wear my favorite old outfits even if I could fit into them again.

Now it's your turn.

Take a belief that seems to no longer serve you, the simpler the better. "There's too much to do." "My house is falling apart." "I'll never have a good relationship." "I don't have enough money." "The world isn't safe." (Have you noticed we can't just drop these stories? We can't prevent a thought from occuring. Try telling yourself not to think; "I'm not thinking" is already a thought!) Hold this belief up against the four questions and turnaround of The Work. How would you live your life differently if you could no longer believe this thought? Without the internal clutter of stressful beliefs, what solutions come to you to create spaciousness, flow, and beauty to your physical space?

To learn more about The Work, download free materials, find a Certified Facilitator, or attend an event with Byron Katie, visit TheWork.com.

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Carol L. Skolnick, a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, brings this transformational inquiry to individuals and groups worldwide. To contact Carol, receive her newsletter, and check her schedule of events, visit her website: ClearLifeSolutions.com