HOW "PLAYING IT SAFE" IS DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS

I'm typing this at the Philadelphia airport. I've just left an amazing PR Mastermind Summit where I was surrounded by successful, inspiring, generous and creative entrepreneurs. There is something magical about surrounding yourself with people who have surpassed where you are, who have achieved things you've only dreamed of, and who have polished and honed skills you've longed to perfect. This sort of community raises the bar to what is possible, showing you in living color that all you've dreamed of is, in fact, quite attainable. I saw people embracing new information, stepping out of their comfort zones, and humbling themselves to embrace feedback. Today all of us were standing on the edge of a new possibility. Some of us will be taking the leap off the edge in the hope and faith that some thing (or some force) will be there to add lift to our new found wings. Others may stand with their feet firmly planted, never to move. Either is perfect, although one path leads to expanse and freedom, and the other, fear and resistance. But every opportunity, whether expansive or not, provides insights into our next needed steps, the chance to see our limits more clearly, and another opportunity to do it all differently tomorrow.

Every moment of every day, sometimes subtly and sometimes not, we are given the opportunity to soar or to stand. Fly or fall. Run or walk. It's simply a choice of whether we let fear or faith lead the way. This is in no way to make light of how challenging life can feel at many moments. Many days in my life it was a huge accomplishment with a troop of angelic applause that I merely got up out of bed. ("Stephanie's out of bed...Can I get an Amen?".... "AMEN!"). But what makes us take either path when those more challenging moments present themselves on a prickly platter? Very likely it's that snide and sneaky belief "Something BAD will happen if I fail or feel this discomfort". This terror touches every topic from the fear of heights, public speaking, romantic breakups to the ironic flip-side — outrageous success. We've come to dread this physical sensation that we so plainly label fear. But is that factual? Is it truly fear? ...or rather the buzz of an exciting new adventure?

Until this past year, I too spent much of my time avoiding discomfort and dodging the drama of my perceived obstacles. I tried every technique, philosophy and modality I could to remove my inner angst so I could get on with leading a life I'd love. I tried, and tried... then tried some more... only to find those nagging, gnawing, palm-sweat shakes would always be there to greet me as I moved toward any new unknown.

Did you notice that my writing style just changed from present to past tense? So what shifted to put those fears in the background, and move me toward a more fear-free place? Good question. And not one that can be answered in this short format. But what I CAN tell you here is that I can testify from this side of the mountain is that it's not as bad as you think. Actually, it's not bad AT ALL! Quite the opposite. And I only wish someone would have taught me as a child that the knotted ball of buzzing in my belly was merely excitement and newness and the energy of possibility. After running from the buzz from 36 years, I've come to see that the monster that was chasing me was merely my shadow. Once I turned around and faced the light, it disappeared into nothingness, leaving a much stronger, sassier, wiser woman in it's place.

But does it ever go away for good? Honestly I'm not sure. But the beliefs AROUND the sensation absolutely are moldable. Do I still feel that buzzing? Absolutely... any new situation still sends my hands shaking, palms sweating and voice quivering. Why, just today I stood in front of this new MasterMind group only to have this same old reaction come up once again. But what I can tell you is that the mere act of moving through it dissolves it into the most empowered powdery kiss. What's different about me today is that I was willing to embrace a challenge, where I normally would have kept quiet, pretended to have it all together, avoid embarrassment at all cost, and...well...basically, played it safe. But today, in front of all my peers, I exposed my humanness and my pretty imperfection. The strength I've gained from shooting Fun Shui this past year has given me a whole new respect for any "perceived" discomfort. Having moved through some of my greatest fears — public speaking, being in front of a camera, and teaching to the masses — I've grown strong. I no longer need people to see me as perfect. I am human, I have feelings, I have great strengths, and I have an equal number of weaknesses. But I'm finding this is what makes life quite juicy. It's the merging into our greatest hurdles that give us our greatest triumphs.

I welcome all of you to pick one discomfort, fear or hurdle - no matter the size or intensity. Even a mild stretch to one person can be an enormous stretch to someone else. As long as we continue to move and morph and grow and change, we stay flexible, open and fluid.

Please post your triumphs over fear -- big or small -- here in the blog so others can become inspired by your action, and gain strength enough to embrace their own...

© 2007 Stephanie McWilliams LLC
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