Some Fun Feng Shui Reading:

I've been emailed several times about what feng shui books are good to start with if you're wanting to learn more. I also just noticed people asking this question on the HGTV online community. Here's my thoughts:

Go pick up either:

The Western Guide to Feng Shui
The Western Guide to Feng Shui, Room by Room

These are both by Terah Kathryn Collins, and are wonderful primers. They follow the form-school of Feng Shui, which is very practical and easily understood by our western minds and lifestyles. The Western Guide was the first book I ever ready, and is what inspired me to move forward with my current career. So I hope you enjoy!

Once you've ready those two, try the following more advanced texts:

Feng Shui: Harmony By Design by Nancy SantoPietro
Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston
nterior Design with Feng Shui by Sarah Rossbach

These are some of my all time favorite books, and I still continue to refer to them...They all are very practical, easy to understand and are loaded with powerful feng shui insights.

Enjoy!


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TO DINE, OR NOT TO DINE...That Is The Question

QUESTION:

"This sounds a bit naughty....BUT What is a power spot and where would I find it in the bedroom?

Oz and I loved your show on Friday and my "yeah-but" about putting the office in the dining room is that the resale value of the home would go down if this sweet couple tried to sell the home without a formal dining room. You are helping to stretch me out of my comfort zone about what a home is about and how it is a place to serve, comfort and support people, not the other way around." -- Marianne

STEPHANIE: Marianne, this is why I love this forum -- because in a half-hour show we can only cover so much information. But here we can go much deeper. And I'm sure lots of people have the same exact question about removing the dining room.

Let's start with that juicy question. First, regarding the resale value of the house. I completely hear that as a valid issue. Here's my concern about that.... So often we get worried about doing the right thing for down-the-road and we don't end up living fully in the now. We can end up worrying so much about what will happen when we sell a house (which could possibly be decades away) that we miss out on the opportunity to express ourselves, be creative, and fulfill our deepest life goals in this moment. Now, if the family said they were moving in 2 months, I might have gone a different approach, but in this situation, they had every plan on staying in this home. If they were to sell the home, this would be very easy to re-stage and a simple move of furniture could have that room back to it's original layout in one day, especially since it wasn't anything more permanent like a kitchen. Ever situation is unique of course -- in this particular situation, I can't imagine this would affect their resale value.

I have a good friend who did just this. He moved into his home years ago and really made it his - he painted unusual colors, but colors that inspired him immensely. He used his entire home to support his life. During the years he lived there he thrived, and met his soul mate - things honestly couldn't be better for him. But if he would have played it safe, and his home hadn't become the playful, optimistic oasis that it was, I'm not sure if things would be as good today. When he sold his house recently, I almost think that people could literally feel the love and joy in his home, and they wanted a bit of that good feeling. He was in a market where lots of comperable houses were sitting unsold, but his sold quite quickly. So you just never really quite know how life will turn out, but living fully in the moment simply can't hurt!

It boils down to thinking outside the box, breaking the rules that have come before us, asking ourselves from a deep place "what do I long to do?", and making sure our homes support us, instead of us supporting the home.

Also, my biggest concern was to address the fact that this couple was struggling financially and that Karen was feeling extremely unfulfilled in her career. If we didn't address those issues -- getting some abundant energy swirling around in that unused wealth corner, as well as urging Karen to fulfill her own career path -- then they very well might have needed to sell that house sooner than they'd hope!

If Karen's dream is to coach women and start a home business (I realize these details didn't make it into the show), then it was vital that her home speak to these dreams. To have a room, especially on the main floor, go unused is similar to not using your left leg over time. The ramifications of stagnant energy are evident. Since they never used the dining room it would be extremely easy for this family to simply pull out some card tables and have a warm, welcoming gathering. Their home was quite big, with plenty of space to do this in their kitchen and living room, which already had a full dining table and chairs. Remember, the joy that comes from gatherings with friends and family is about the love that is shared between people, and can happen anywhere there is joy.

Often times we do things just because we haven't thought NOT to do them any longer. We get passed down ideas of how we should live by our ancestors. I see this all the time... We have a belief that we should all have a dining room, whether it serves our lifestyle and goals or not. More and more, people are letting go of their formal dining rooms because of this, and more and more home offices are actually taking their place. It's an individual matter, one only YOU can answer. If you use your dining room and love it, by all means you should keep it! It's serving you and bringing you and your guest's joy. But if there's a way the space could serve your life better, then that's something to consider...

What we most want to focus on is making sure that the people living IN the home are well supported and inspired. When they are truly happy and fulfilled in their lives, they will naturally become better friends, better spouses, etc. Then when they welcome people into their home, they will be an inspiration to those that come in contact with them, instead of putting the guests' needs before the family's own happiness and fulfillment. The ripple effect on the planet if just one family changes their lives and becomes more joyful could be staggering. They will teach abundance & love simply by their example. Because of this redesign, Karen is coaching women and making a difference in so many, many people's lives - that to me is far better than having a pretty, yet unused, dining room.

POWER SPOTS:

Let me know if this clarifies power spots for you a bit more....

Keep in mind, in the string of evolution, we're not really that far removed from cave men. Modern life has happened quite rapidly and we still have primitive instincts that are in good working order. One of them is the natural desire to feel safe and protected. When we have our back's to an activity, we feel vulnerable. We can't see who's approaching, whether they're friend or foe, and have no reaction time if some one or some thing was about to attack us. Now granted, that rarely happens in one's family room, but the instinct is still there.

As often as possible, and especially with the larger pieces of furniture, we like to be facing the entrance or main expanse of the room. This is the location I would call the "power spot", or the location farthest and opposite the entrance into a space, since you feel most in command of what's in front of you and therefore feel more empowered. Not every piece of furniture can sit that way I realize, but try to make sure your desk, bed, sofa, and if possible, your stove, can give you a view into the room. If this isn't possible, try using mirrors (or a painting hung wth reflective glass, etc.) that will allow you to see behind you.

I hope that helps! Feel free to ask more questions if you'd like more clarification!

My thanks goes to Marianne for her amazing questions - thank you for taking the time to ask!!!


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FUN SHUI SHOW TIPS

Hi everyone!

I've received more and more questions from all of you, and thought it might be nice to use this forum to cover some of your questions, especially those that come up around the show.

Here are a few that I received this evening, in response to the home office makeover:


"Where did your wood come from for the desk?"

STEPH: The desk was from a cherry tree that had died and was then cut down and sliced specially for our show! Our handyman, Cory, went above and beyond to acquire this wood - if you only could have seen this desk in real life - it truly is a work of art! Bravo Cory... not only was it beautiful, but a kind creation for the environment.


"Why do you use some sort of red or orange in all the episodes?"

STEPH: Great question! Funny, that was just a fluke of how the show's were ordered to air - something we caught after the fact. From here on there are definitely rooms coming (starting next week!) using blues, greens and neutrals, so stay tuned!

The reds that have been used, in tonight's episode as well as in the kitchen episode, were there to promote focus and reputation. Red is the color that represents the "fame" area of a space (the back far center area, as you stand in your doorway), so this was the confident, focused nudge I especially wanted to give Karen (the wife) as she was pursuing her career goals. As you may have heard in the "testimonials" section of my website, since the filming of tonight's episode Karen has left her corporate job and has gotten certified as a life coach and is starting her own business! Knowing that it was Karen's dream to help inspire women in this way, I wanted to make sure she had a space where she could work from home as she desired, so that was the inspiration for the home office redesign.

I strongly believe that if we desire something, it's important to create a space for it to happen, ie. if you're wanting to paint, it might be a great idea to set up a space for your paints and an easel. If you're wanting to exercise more, create a home gym, etc. If you build it, it will come, so to speak...

The orange tones that were used in the bedroom episode from last week represent the earth element. This color scheme not only worked with their personal taste and decor, but also was beneficial for their personality types. I could have gone with an earthier brown or tan tone, but often these sorts of earth colors are dulling and more neutralizing in their effect, and I purposefully wanted a color that would also be bold enough to help enhance their romantic connection.


"I didn't like the color combination from tonight's episode. Why did you put those two colors together?"

STEPH: Well, I'm glad you're brave enough to ask! I love honesty, and completely understand why you might dislike tonight's more daring color combination. This color combination would not be right for most people, and if it was another couple I was working with, even within this same home layout, I would have picked very different colors.

Sometimes where there's lots of stagnancy somewhere, and a person is really eager and hungry to make a change, and also has a lot of career passion and life energy like Karen had this evening, I sometimes will place what seems to be two opposing colors next to one another. This creates a very special sort of optical "buzz" if you will, and can keep a very activated, energized feeling to the room long, long, long after the paint has dried. (FYI: I only do this if it's appropriate to the people's personalities, where they're wanting to go, and the current decor. I knew this couple could handle a bold color combination like this. And I also knew they needed quite a buzz to happen for their financial and career goals.)


"I can't put a water feature in my office - there's no room and it would be too close to all my electrical equipment. What do I do? How can I put a waterfall in there to bring in wealth?"

STEPH: Amazing question. You don't HAVE to have waterfalls, or purples, or anything else for that matter, in your wealth are of your home, or in your home office in general. When you do have the appropriate arrangement, they can be lovely additions, but you don't have to have one in order to have abundance. There are so many other factors that play into creating an abundant home, just like there are many aspects to create health in our bodies (food, rest, environment, thinking, movement, etc.). Before worrying about the details or dressings of a room, make sure that you have organization that works for you, that your chair is supportive and comfortable, everything is in good working order, you have appropriate lighting, and that the flow through the room is smooth and easy, with nothing blocking the flow through the space. Starting there can be a HUGE enhancement to bringing in abundance. If these foundational issues haven't been handled, no amount of waterfalls can make up for what lacks in these other areas.

Side tip: One of the BEST places to put a waterfall is in your entryway - either inside or out. Front entrances to homes represent your career or path in life, and water is the element that is represented there. Flowing water also represents abundance. Keep in mind, we want the energy flowing INTO the home, so try to use either waterfalls that cascade down all sides of the fountain, or ones that flow INTO or toward the home!


"What if my bedroom is in my wealth area! What do I do then? My office is somewhere else."
i
STEPH: You all are FULL of great questions tonight! No worries... Just because I placed tonight's family's home office in THEIR wealth corner, doesn't mean you have to as well. It just happened that it worked out nicely for them in that way. Getting this family to spend more time positive time in this previously unused dining room area is almost like adding an accupuncture needle to this area of the home - it brings life and energy into that space, as well as that aspect of their life.

If your bedroom falls in the wealth area, I'd want to make sure you were fully supported by a bed that was sturdy and comfortable. I'd also want to make sure that you were sleeping in the most powerful position possible (please ask if any of you need clarification about power spots!). Do you love your bedding? Could you possibly add a luxurious throw, or some rich textures to the room in any way? Do you have a very expensive painting, vase, scupture, or knick-knack that you can incorporate into the room to remind you of abundance? Do you love spending time there? Does it make you feel wonderful to walk into the room? Is it clean, clear and uplifting? If not, addressing these issues can be a great place to start in bringing abundance into your life.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO ASK QUESTIONS AND I WILL ANSWER AS MANY AS I CAN, TO HELP ALL OF YOU HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF THE POWERFUL YET PRACTICAL ART OF FENG SHUI!

Cheers and good chi, everyone!


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I've Been Cheating on My Boyfriend

It's true. I've been having a love affair...

with coffee.

Ok, ok, perhaps it's not as juicy as you were hoping. But it's just as internally turmultuous. Here's the thing: I love coffee (don't worry, Ian...I love you more!). My focus goes to coffee several times a day. I worship it. It's my religion.

"It's your RELIGION?"

Yup. That's what I said. The definition of worship is "to love something deeply". Whatever in our lives we think about and give our focus to is what we worship (which might be rather disturbing news as you come to realize you're actually spending more time worshipping your email, to-do list, cell phone, shoes, food or coffee, INSTEAD of God [or whatever word you use for that mysterious and magical something that makes the universe go 'round]).

But it's been 3 days now. No coffee. I took that brave leap and listened to that whisper in my ear that has been telling me for months to cut back on the ol' joe... And it's been a challenging past three days. But what I've come to realize is that what we're drawn to is very likely exactly the thing that keeps us stuck. We're drawn toward foods, stimulants, people, spaces and colors that exacerbate where we're already out of balance, and just end up intensifying that energy.

For example, I tend to be quite energetic by nature (who knew?!) with a very fast, racing mind. So what I'm drawn to intensifies that imbalance. I like coffee, I like kickboxing, I like running. I avoid drinking, downers and yoga, simply for the fact that they force me to slow down and come into balance. So I fight it. My boyfriend on the other hand is very low-key and grounded by nature (sometimes TOO much so...sorry honey!), and of course he's fond of meditation, drinking (when he was younger), and any slow-paced or innert activity. Coffee for him is out of the question.

So, that being said, what's your tendency? What activities do you avoid? What types of colors are you hesitant to use in your home? I'm not saying to go out and do yoga, or smoke pot, paint your ceiling purple or drink yourself silly.... It's a matter of acnowledging that quiet inner voice that knows what would be healing for you, and allow it space to speak. The more you give it that space, the louder it gets, and the more you're capable of acting on it's wisdom.

In terms of feng shui, the same applies. Because your brain, in this very moment is where it is, and has the beauty AND imbalances that it has, we make choices from THAT place. So if we were to redecorate our space from where we are right now, very likely we would imbue that space with whatever strengths, and definitely whatever weaknesses, we currently hold. (This is why it's so beneficial to find a good consultant who can look past your personality and get to what your soul's longing for, and help you generate a space for those longings to blossom - a consultant who's continually doing their own inner work, staying clear and trying their best not to project their own issues or limitations onto your space.)

That being said, true change can feel uncomfortable. Sticky, icky, and heeby-jeeby. But deep down we WANT change. That's why we're on the planet! So we want to surround ourselves in inspiring spaces that stretch us out of our comfort zones so our homes aren't just a redesigned dumping-ground for more of where we are right now. That only creates more of that hampster-wheel-of-life effect. Although to create a space that speaks to who we WANT to become can feel as challenging as...well...choosing green tea over coffee! It's a new energy, a new feeling, a new behavior being asked of us, and that forces us to step up to the plate and create new patterns, behaviors and pathways. But however uncomfortable initially, that's the great news! Our homes can inspire change and growth... and often times it's far easier to change through changing our homes, than it is to change by changing a lifetime of limited beliefs.

So be prepared to feel a bit uncomfortable when you're taking on any new, healthier behavior. Your ego may throw a temper-tantrum. "I can't paint THAT color on the wall! I can't wake up early and write in my journal! I can't eat healthier! I can't get organized!...I can't survive without coffee in the morning!"

So what's right for YOU? What could you do to your space that would inspire something great in yourself? What does that small inner voice tell you to do each day that you simply choose not to listen to? What little thing could you change that you KNOW would change your entire life?

Would it be...
...painting a new color on the wall?
...making your junk drawer beautiful, with lovely containers and labels?
...throwing out magazines or paperwork you've had filed away for ages and tell yourself you'll get to someday?
...fixing a chair that you've grown acustomed to being broken?
...throwing out old clothes that you've been hanging onto for years?

What change could you make that you KNOW deep down is a positive shift, but you're hesitant to change? Yup, that's right. THAT is precisely where you want to start...

Baby steps, baby steps...

And before you begin this adventure, always keep in mind the following: as long as you're alive, your home will be growing and changing along with you. So continue nuding yourself and your home forward, and most importantly... HAVE FUN!


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2 Horses are SAVED with your help!

Here's the update I just received from my new heroic Horse Whisperers:

"We are still raising funds to be part of a huge team effort! The Horse Coalition is Making HISTORY!!! We have raised the funds for the perch cross and the pali mare. The mare has a good home and the perch is coming to PT. We are now raising funds for this Mroab Mare I have attached a pic.

Check out the mare at www.pthr.org.

Morab mare black approx 16/17 yr old ... She seems lost and confused as to why she is where she is and is. She is low man on the totem pole and has lost weight even because the other horses do not allow her to eat.

We are Going to KEEP Pulling! The more money we pull the more we can save! We will also look to help horses beyond help this time. If there are horses that are to far gone we will pull them and help them pass over The Rainbow Bridge. I have a BIG Update Coming With ALL the Details!! We are making history here...

Thank You to ALL The Donors! We are going to keep saving!!!"

Please consider sending your donations to this amazing organization so they can buy a THIRD horse tomorrow at the kill pen auctions.... As they said so passionately above, the more money they raise, the more horses they can save.

With love and gratitude,

Stephanie


DONATION REQUEST: Funds Needed TODAY To Save 2 Horse's Lives

I love the internet. It's the most amazing way to connect with people that we might not normally get to meet. So today I'm using this amazing medium to share some information with all of you in the hopes that we might be able to make a quick and easy difference in an animal's life.

My makeup artist's sister is a horse rescuer. I just received an email from her letting me know that she's in need of funding TODAY to save the lives of two beautiful horses which are scheduled to go to a kill buyer. Unfortunately this email reached me at the last minute, and they are looking to get donations by this evening (although any donations made after this will be forwarded to saving many other horses' lives).

If anyone is interested, even $2, $5 or $25+ will make a huge difference. I've already make my donation of $250, and they only need another $750, so with all of us pulling together, we can make a massive impact in this situation. This is the power of people coming together for a common cause. Anything is possible with passion, focus and action!

And just to let you know, finances are extremely tight for me right now as I'm sure many of you can relate to, but the good feeling of giving to someone in need far outweighs the financial challenges attached to it. Somehow the universe provides for us when we listen to that deep inner voice that calls us to action. My inner voice told me $250...and since my life motto is "Listen and Follow Directions", that's what I gave.

Donations can be made at www.pthr.org.
Join their mailing list while you're there to stay updated in ways you can support their efforts in the future.

If you cannot donate, instead consider forwarding this posting. And if funds are tight, even $2 from each person could easily mean life for these beautiful horses!

When making a donation please email horsesaverlb@aol.com and jennifer@PureThoughtsHorseRescue.com to let them know of your generous gift. I've already talked with them, and they're already in the trailer heading to the kill pens... With sufficient funding, they will be able to take these horses home tomorrow! Support these amazingly passionate people in their generous and loving efforts. We could all learn a thing or two from these people about the fulfillment experienced when we follow our hearts and passions, and act selflessly).

They will respect your privacy if you wish not to announce you name with the donation. Just let them know!

Again, Donations can be made at www.pthr.org.

Your Horse Heros:
Laura Boothby
A Stand 4 The Horses
Fundraising & Rescue Education
http://www.myspace.com/4thehorses

Friends of Fitch
http://www.myspace.com/thefightforfitch

Thanks in advance to all your amazing generosity - and please keep them in your thoughts (and pocketbook) in the days, months and years to come. If we each extended a small kindness each and every day, I believe our planet would be healed. We are all individually more powerful than we realize.... And if it's not these horses, what one thing could you do today that would make a difference in someone's life? I encourage you to take action and JUST DO IT!

With love,

Stephanie

(please consider forwarding this message out to your entire mailing list to help spread this information)

Sharpen Your Saw

Like all of you, I've found my life becoming more and more busy. And I too find it challenging to stay balanced, focused, and taking plenty of time for myself in terms of relaxation, sleep, and exercise. I was reminded of a fantastic analogy that many of you may have already heard, but it's good enough to hear over...and over...and over!

Sharpen your saw!


Yes, that's right. Sharpen your saw. Imagine your life, your goals and your dreams represented by a huge tree standing before you...and just for grins, your life's goal is to cut that huge tree down. But when we're exhausted, run down, and spread thin with to-do lists, soccer practice, emails and grocery shopping, we often become more like a rusty, dull saw than a sharp, efficient model (I've felt more like a popsicle stick on the saw-dullness scale myself lately). When we stop for a moment to take time out to recharge, reorganize and rejuvenate our spirits, it's like sharpening that rusty saw to a shining, fine point. We think clearer, we have more energy, we make better, wiser decisions, and we feel more joy. Voila! Things go more smoothly, and we find ourselves slicing effortlessly through the timber...

So after being reminded of the whole saw-sharpening theory, I took a look around. Literally and figuratively. I've spent much of the past year working round-the-clock on creating "Fun Shui", and have been so busy that, like all you fellow busy-bees out there, I'd neglected to update and care for my own space which I found was no longer reflecting my greater goals.

I was working hard. And I was telling myself I didn't have time to stop or think things through. I had work to do, and a lot of it! But this weekend I finally came to my senses and I stopped. I put everything aside and took a long hard look around.

Where is my life headed? What am I wanting to achieve in the next few years? And does my space currently speak to those greater goals? The answer was an emphatic "NO". So I sat down at my desk. I felt my chair. I looked out at the view from my seat. Was I comfortable? Focused? Inspired? All the feng shui books would tell me that my furniture placement was stellar and that I was practicing great feng shui. But I felt stressed, scattered, tense...and the view was less than calming or creative.

Then I rolled my chair to all the other spots in the room until I found one that inspired me. Suddenly I felt focused, I felt strong, I felt wonderful. Then I opened up drawers...pulled out papers... I imagined my life as I dream it could be. And I started creating a space fit for THAT woman: the future Stephanie. How would she organize? Where would she sit? What lighting would she like? What artwork would inspire?

So that's what I did. (And get this: I didn't spend a single dime!) Literally overnight I've been far more productive, forward thinking and organized than I've been in some time, and have had more great news, income opportunities and surprises in just 3 days than I've had in the past many weeks combined. Funny thing is: most things happen when I'm centered and in the flow, NOT when I'm a buzzing busy-bee. Yet probably like you, I often forget to stay in faith - faith that life is for me, not against me.
I feel good. I feel inspired. And my home FEELS amazing again--much more compatible with that wiser, truer part of myself, and where I long to be...

Now I ask YOU: in what ways can you sharpen YOUR saw? What things have you been putting off or avoiding, that you know deep down would make a world of difference in your life and those around you? What areas of your home could use some TLC? Get some paper, make a list, and jot down 3 things you could do this week that would make you fall in love with your home all over again... And if all of this sounds absolutely out of the question ("She's crazy - I don't have time to do that!"), ask that deep part of yourself what's so scary about putting down the saw and getting out the sharpening stone? What are you are afraid would happen if you did stop to tend your own inner (or outer) garden?...

Now get to work sharpening, sharpening, sharpening... and I'll meet you at the bonfire! (Bring your own wood)


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IN THE NEWS: Stephanie Eats Paint!

Fun Shui is back in the news...and Stephanie's eating paint! If you can grab yourself an actual copy, get some great candid shots of Stephanie and the Coleman family as they redecorate a nursery for children being adopted from Africa -- all using Green products. Why, the paints so healthy, it's edible! Run out and pick up a copy of Newsday, or check out the online article at:

http://www.newsday.com/features/home/ny-n5415691oct18,0,5111620.story

(The episode above will air November 2nd, so spread the word!)


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FEATURED FRIENDS: Carol Skolnick

Inquire Your Way to Internal Feng Shui
by Carol Skolnick

Feng Shui is the art of allowing and creating a clear and uplifting energy flow in the physical environment, the places where we spend time: home, office, garden. When there is a lot of clutter in the physical space, it's harder to live happily and with clarity—whether it's a garage full of useless old junk that displaces your car, a living room crowded with books and toys, or a home-office robbing your bedroom of restfulness and romance. When there is balance and beauty without, it has a positive affect on the space within, the mind and heart.

The opposite is also true. Internal clutter—old beliefs that cause stress or suffering—very often manifest as chaos in the home or workplace. A messy desk may be a symptom of a messy mind. A closet full of old clothes is a closet full of beliefs: "I may need these things someday," "If I throw things out, it means I wasted my money," or "I don't have time to deal with this."

If you find yourself reluctant to change or clear your space, you may find it helpful to do some mental housekeeping first. A simple self-inquiry technique called The Work of Byron Katie can create just the "head room" you need.

The Work is a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. That sounds lofty, but it is really very simple: the technique consists of four questions, and a "turnaround." The premise of The Work is equally simple: when we believe thoughts that are not 100% true for us, we experience stress, which affects our health, our relationships, our efficacy at work, and our creativity. When we meet our stressful thoughts with understanding, they eventually fall away as the truth, which is more compelling, comes to light. This creates a spaciousness inside that translates to a better relationship with our environment.

Here's an example of how The Work's "internal Feng Shui" works:

Belief: I may need these things someday.

Question 1: Is it true?

Yes. I might lose weight. I may need the old suit for a job interview. My husband loves his ancient sweatshirts and insists he will wear them.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know that it's true?

Well, no. I haven't fit into some of this stuff in years. George never even wears sweatshirts anymore. If I decide to look for another job, I will probably want something newer and more polished for my interviews than this out-of-style suit.

Question 3: How do you react when you believe that thought? (What happens?)

When I believe the thought, "I may need these things someday," I become nervous about cleaning out the closets. I put it off, and the closets just get more crammed. I can't find anything. I don't even know what I have. I worry about making a mistake about getting rid of things. I see my stuff as irreplacable. I fear regret and loss. I see myself arguing with my partner about his things, having to back down, and resenting him for it. I get a queasy feeling in my stomach, and I feel tired. I end up wasting time on the phone or on the internet instead of straightening up the closets. It feels like my belongings are controlling my life.

Question 4: Who would you be without this thought?

I would be calmer and more present. I would not be so attached to things. I would be grateful for the joy my things have given me, which would make it easier to let them go. I would happily donate some of my things I don't use to a thrift shop, where someone else might find them useful. I'd let myself have new clothes, and I'd be excited about updating my look. I would stay out of my husband's business, and instead collaborate with him about the closets, instead of trying to control him. I'd have a lot more energy.

Turn the thought around. What is the opposite of your original belief?

I may not need these things someday.

Is this as true or truer?

Yes, it could be just as true.

Give three genuine examples of how this turnaround is true in your experience.

So far, I have not needed the things I can't even find and don't know I have! I'm not trying to lose weight now, because I feel healthy and comfortable at my current size...so it could be a very long time before I'd need those clothes, if ever. My tastes have changed and it could be that I wouldn't want to wear my favorite old outfits even if I could fit into them again.

Now it's your turn.

Take a belief that seems to no longer serve you, the simpler the better. "There's too much to do." "My house is falling apart." "I'll never have a good relationship." "I don't have enough money." "The world isn't safe." (Have you noticed we can't just drop these stories? We can't prevent a thought from occuring. Try telling yourself not to think; "I'm not thinking" is already a thought!) Hold this belief up against the four questions and turnaround of The Work. How would you live your life differently if you could no longer believe this thought? Without the internal clutter of stressful beliefs, what solutions come to you to create spaciousness, flow, and beauty to your physical space?

To learn more about The Work, download free materials, find a Certified Facilitator, or attend an event with Byron Katie, visit TheWork.com.

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Carol L. Skolnick, a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, brings this transformational inquiry to individuals and groups worldwide. To contact Carol, receive her newsletter, and check her schedule of events, visit her website: ClearLifeSolutions.com