Some Fun Feng Shui Reading:

I've been emailed several times about what feng shui books are good to start with if you're wanting to learn more. I also just noticed people asking this question on the HGTV online community. Here's my thoughts:

Go pick up either:

The Western Guide to Feng Shui
The Western Guide to Feng Shui, Room by Room

These are both by Terah Kathryn Collins, and are wonderful primers. They follow the form-school of Feng Shui, which is very practical and easily understood by our western minds and lifestyles. The Western Guide was the first book I ever ready, and is what inspired me to move forward with my current career. So I hope you enjoy!

Once you've ready those two, try the following more advanced texts:

Feng Shui: Harmony By Design by Nancy SantoPietro
Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston
nterior Design with Feng Shui by Sarah Rossbach

These are some of my all time favorite books, and I still continue to refer to them...They all are very practical, easy to understand and are loaded with powerful feng shui insights.

Enjoy!


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TO DINE, OR NOT TO DINE...That Is The Question

QUESTION:

"This sounds a bit naughty....BUT What is a power spot and where would I find it in the bedroom?

Oz and I loved your show on Friday and my "yeah-but" about putting the office in the dining room is that the resale value of the home would go down if this sweet couple tried to sell the home without a formal dining room. You are helping to stretch me out of my comfort zone about what a home is about and how it is a place to serve, comfort and support people, not the other way around." -- Marianne

STEPHANIE: Marianne, this is why I love this forum -- because in a half-hour show we can only cover so much information. But here we can go much deeper. And I'm sure lots of people have the same exact question about removing the dining room.

Let's start with that juicy question. First, regarding the resale value of the house. I completely hear that as a valid issue. Here's my concern about that.... So often we get worried about doing the right thing for down-the-road and we don't end up living fully in the now. We can end up worrying so much about what will happen when we sell a house (which could possibly be decades away) that we miss out on the opportunity to express ourselves, be creative, and fulfill our deepest life goals in this moment. Now, if the family said they were moving in 2 months, I might have gone a different approach, but in this situation, they had every plan on staying in this home. If they were to sell the home, this would be very easy to re-stage and a simple move of furniture could have that room back to it's original layout in one day, especially since it wasn't anything more permanent like a kitchen. Ever situation is unique of course -- in this particular situation, I can't imagine this would affect their resale value.

I have a good friend who did just this. He moved into his home years ago and really made it his - he painted unusual colors, but colors that inspired him immensely. He used his entire home to support his life. During the years he lived there he thrived, and met his soul mate - things honestly couldn't be better for him. But if he would have played it safe, and his home hadn't become the playful, optimistic oasis that it was, I'm not sure if things would be as good today. When he sold his house recently, I almost think that people could literally feel the love and joy in his home, and they wanted a bit of that good feeling. He was in a market where lots of comperable houses were sitting unsold, but his sold quite quickly. So you just never really quite know how life will turn out, but living fully in the moment simply can't hurt!

It boils down to thinking outside the box, breaking the rules that have come before us, asking ourselves from a deep place "what do I long to do?", and making sure our homes support us, instead of us supporting the home.

Also, my biggest concern was to address the fact that this couple was struggling financially and that Karen was feeling extremely unfulfilled in her career. If we didn't address those issues -- getting some abundant energy swirling around in that unused wealth corner, as well as urging Karen to fulfill her own career path -- then they very well might have needed to sell that house sooner than they'd hope!

If Karen's dream is to coach women and start a home business (I realize these details didn't make it into the show), then it was vital that her home speak to these dreams. To have a room, especially on the main floor, go unused is similar to not using your left leg over time. The ramifications of stagnant energy are evident. Since they never used the dining room it would be extremely easy for this family to simply pull out some card tables and have a warm, welcoming gathering. Their home was quite big, with plenty of space to do this in their kitchen and living room, which already had a full dining table and chairs. Remember, the joy that comes from gatherings with friends and family is about the love that is shared between people, and can happen anywhere there is joy.

Often times we do things just because we haven't thought NOT to do them any longer. We get passed down ideas of how we should live by our ancestors. I see this all the time... We have a belief that we should all have a dining room, whether it serves our lifestyle and goals or not. More and more, people are letting go of their formal dining rooms because of this, and more and more home offices are actually taking their place. It's an individual matter, one only YOU can answer. If you use your dining room and love it, by all means you should keep it! It's serving you and bringing you and your guest's joy. But if there's a way the space could serve your life better, then that's something to consider...

What we most want to focus on is making sure that the people living IN the home are well supported and inspired. When they are truly happy and fulfilled in their lives, they will naturally become better friends, better spouses, etc. Then when they welcome people into their home, they will be an inspiration to those that come in contact with them, instead of putting the guests' needs before the family's own happiness and fulfillment. The ripple effect on the planet if just one family changes their lives and becomes more joyful could be staggering. They will teach abundance & love simply by their example. Because of this redesign, Karen is coaching women and making a difference in so many, many people's lives - that to me is far better than having a pretty, yet unused, dining room.

POWER SPOTS:

Let me know if this clarifies power spots for you a bit more....

Keep in mind, in the string of evolution, we're not really that far removed from cave men. Modern life has happened quite rapidly and we still have primitive instincts that are in good working order. One of them is the natural desire to feel safe and protected. When we have our back's to an activity, we feel vulnerable. We can't see who's approaching, whether they're friend or foe, and have no reaction time if some one or some thing was about to attack us. Now granted, that rarely happens in one's family room, but the instinct is still there.

As often as possible, and especially with the larger pieces of furniture, we like to be facing the entrance or main expanse of the room. This is the location I would call the "power spot", or the location farthest and opposite the entrance into a space, since you feel most in command of what's in front of you and therefore feel more empowered. Not every piece of furniture can sit that way I realize, but try to make sure your desk, bed, sofa, and if possible, your stove, can give you a view into the room. If this isn't possible, try using mirrors (or a painting hung wth reflective glass, etc.) that will allow you to see behind you.

I hope that helps! Feel free to ask more questions if you'd like more clarification!

My thanks goes to Marianne for her amazing questions - thank you for taking the time to ask!!!


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FUN SHUI SHOW TIPS

Hi everyone!

I've received more and more questions from all of you, and thought it might be nice to use this forum to cover some of your questions, especially those that come up around the show.

Here are a few that I received this evening, in response to the home office makeover:


"Where did your wood come from for the desk?"

STEPH: The desk was from a cherry tree that had died and was then cut down and sliced specially for our show! Our handyman, Cory, went above and beyond to acquire this wood - if you only could have seen this desk in real life - it truly is a work of art! Bravo Cory... not only was it beautiful, but a kind creation for the environment.


"Why do you use some sort of red or orange in all the episodes?"

STEPH: Great question! Funny, that was just a fluke of how the show's were ordered to air - something we caught after the fact. From here on there are definitely rooms coming (starting next week!) using blues, greens and neutrals, so stay tuned!

The reds that have been used, in tonight's episode as well as in the kitchen episode, were there to promote focus and reputation. Red is the color that represents the "fame" area of a space (the back far center area, as you stand in your doorway), so this was the confident, focused nudge I especially wanted to give Karen (the wife) as she was pursuing her career goals. As you may have heard in the "testimonials" section of my website, since the filming of tonight's episode Karen has left her corporate job and has gotten certified as a life coach and is starting her own business! Knowing that it was Karen's dream to help inspire women in this way, I wanted to make sure she had a space where she could work from home as she desired, so that was the inspiration for the home office redesign.

I strongly believe that if we desire something, it's important to create a space for it to happen, ie. if you're wanting to paint, it might be a great idea to set up a space for your paints and an easel. If you're wanting to exercise more, create a home gym, etc. If you build it, it will come, so to speak...

The orange tones that were used in the bedroom episode from last week represent the earth element. This color scheme not only worked with their personal taste and decor, but also was beneficial for their personality types. I could have gone with an earthier brown or tan tone, but often these sorts of earth colors are dulling and more neutralizing in their effect, and I purposefully wanted a color that would also be bold enough to help enhance their romantic connection.


"I didn't like the color combination from tonight's episode. Why did you put those two colors together?"

STEPH: Well, I'm glad you're brave enough to ask! I love honesty, and completely understand why you might dislike tonight's more daring color combination. This color combination would not be right for most people, and if it was another couple I was working with, even within this same home layout, I would have picked very different colors.

Sometimes where there's lots of stagnancy somewhere, and a person is really eager and hungry to make a change, and also has a lot of career passion and life energy like Karen had this evening, I sometimes will place what seems to be two opposing colors next to one another. This creates a very special sort of optical "buzz" if you will, and can keep a very activated, energized feeling to the room long, long, long after the paint has dried. (FYI: I only do this if it's appropriate to the people's personalities, where they're wanting to go, and the current decor. I knew this couple could handle a bold color combination like this. And I also knew they needed quite a buzz to happen for their financial and career goals.)


"I can't put a water feature in my office - there's no room and it would be too close to all my electrical equipment. What do I do? How can I put a waterfall in there to bring in wealth?"

STEPH: Amazing question. You don't HAVE to have waterfalls, or purples, or anything else for that matter, in your wealth are of your home, or in your home office in general. When you do have the appropriate arrangement, they can be lovely additions, but you don't have to have one in order to have abundance. There are so many other factors that play into creating an abundant home, just like there are many aspects to create health in our bodies (food, rest, environment, thinking, movement, etc.). Before worrying about the details or dressings of a room, make sure that you have organization that works for you, that your chair is supportive and comfortable, everything is in good working order, you have appropriate lighting, and that the flow through the room is smooth and easy, with nothing blocking the flow through the space. Starting there can be a HUGE enhancement to bringing in abundance. If these foundational issues haven't been handled, no amount of waterfalls can make up for what lacks in these other areas.

Side tip: One of the BEST places to put a waterfall is in your entryway - either inside or out. Front entrances to homes represent your career or path in life, and water is the element that is represented there. Flowing water also represents abundance. Keep in mind, we want the energy flowing INTO the home, so try to use either waterfalls that cascade down all sides of the fountain, or ones that flow INTO or toward the home!


"What if my bedroom is in my wealth area! What do I do then? My office is somewhere else."
i
STEPH: You all are FULL of great questions tonight! No worries... Just because I placed tonight's family's home office in THEIR wealth corner, doesn't mean you have to as well. It just happened that it worked out nicely for them in that way. Getting this family to spend more time positive time in this previously unused dining room area is almost like adding an accupuncture needle to this area of the home - it brings life and energy into that space, as well as that aspect of their life.

If your bedroom falls in the wealth area, I'd want to make sure you were fully supported by a bed that was sturdy and comfortable. I'd also want to make sure that you were sleeping in the most powerful position possible (please ask if any of you need clarification about power spots!). Do you love your bedding? Could you possibly add a luxurious throw, or some rich textures to the room in any way? Do you have a very expensive painting, vase, scupture, or knick-knack that you can incorporate into the room to remind you of abundance? Do you love spending time there? Does it make you feel wonderful to walk into the room? Is it clean, clear and uplifting? If not, addressing these issues can be a great place to start in bringing abundance into your life.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO ASK QUESTIONS AND I WILL ANSWER AS MANY AS I CAN, TO HELP ALL OF YOU HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF THE POWERFUL YET PRACTICAL ART OF FENG SHUI!

Cheers and good chi, everyone!


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I've Been Cheating on My Boyfriend

It's true. I've been having a love affair...

with coffee.

Ok, ok, perhaps it's not as juicy as you were hoping. But it's just as internally turmultuous. Here's the thing: I love coffee (don't worry, Ian...I love you more!). My focus goes to coffee several times a day. I worship it. It's my religion.

"It's your RELIGION?"

Yup. That's what I said. The definition of worship is "to love something deeply". Whatever in our lives we think about and give our focus to is what we worship (which might be rather disturbing news as you come to realize you're actually spending more time worshipping your email, to-do list, cell phone, shoes, food or coffee, INSTEAD of God [or whatever word you use for that mysterious and magical something that makes the universe go 'round]).

But it's been 3 days now. No coffee. I took that brave leap and listened to that whisper in my ear that has been telling me for months to cut back on the ol' joe... And it's been a challenging past three days. But what I've come to realize is that what we're drawn to is very likely exactly the thing that keeps us stuck. We're drawn toward foods, stimulants, people, spaces and colors that exacerbate where we're already out of balance, and just end up intensifying that energy.

For example, I tend to be quite energetic by nature (who knew?!) with a very fast, racing mind. So what I'm drawn to intensifies that imbalance. I like coffee, I like kickboxing, I like running. I avoid drinking, downers and yoga, simply for the fact that they force me to slow down and come into balance. So I fight it. My boyfriend on the other hand is very low-key and grounded by nature (sometimes TOO much so...sorry honey!), and of course he's fond of meditation, drinking (when he was younger), and any slow-paced or innert activity. Coffee for him is out of the question.

So, that being said, what's your tendency? What activities do you avoid? What types of colors are you hesitant to use in your home? I'm not saying to go out and do yoga, or smoke pot, paint your ceiling purple or drink yourself silly.... It's a matter of acnowledging that quiet inner voice that knows what would be healing for you, and allow it space to speak. The more you give it that space, the louder it gets, and the more you're capable of acting on it's wisdom.

In terms of feng shui, the same applies. Because your brain, in this very moment is where it is, and has the beauty AND imbalances that it has, we make choices from THAT place. So if we were to redecorate our space from where we are right now, very likely we would imbue that space with whatever strengths, and definitely whatever weaknesses, we currently hold. (This is why it's so beneficial to find a good consultant who can look past your personality and get to what your soul's longing for, and help you generate a space for those longings to blossom - a consultant who's continually doing their own inner work, staying clear and trying their best not to project their own issues or limitations onto your space.)

That being said, true change can feel uncomfortable. Sticky, icky, and heeby-jeeby. But deep down we WANT change. That's why we're on the planet! So we want to surround ourselves in inspiring spaces that stretch us out of our comfort zones so our homes aren't just a redesigned dumping-ground for more of where we are right now. That only creates more of that hampster-wheel-of-life effect. Although to create a space that speaks to who we WANT to become can feel as challenging as...well...choosing green tea over coffee! It's a new energy, a new feeling, a new behavior being asked of us, and that forces us to step up to the plate and create new patterns, behaviors and pathways. But however uncomfortable initially, that's the great news! Our homes can inspire change and growth... and often times it's far easier to change through changing our homes, than it is to change by changing a lifetime of limited beliefs.

So be prepared to feel a bit uncomfortable when you're taking on any new, healthier behavior. Your ego may throw a temper-tantrum. "I can't paint THAT color on the wall! I can't wake up early and write in my journal! I can't eat healthier! I can't get organized!...I can't survive without coffee in the morning!"

So what's right for YOU? What could you do to your space that would inspire something great in yourself? What does that small inner voice tell you to do each day that you simply choose not to listen to? What little thing could you change that you KNOW would change your entire life?

Would it be...
...painting a new color on the wall?
...making your junk drawer beautiful, with lovely containers and labels?
...throwing out magazines or paperwork you've had filed away for ages and tell yourself you'll get to someday?
...fixing a chair that you've grown acustomed to being broken?
...throwing out old clothes that you've been hanging onto for years?

What change could you make that you KNOW deep down is a positive shift, but you're hesitant to change? Yup, that's right. THAT is precisely where you want to start...

Baby steps, baby steps...

And before you begin this adventure, always keep in mind the following: as long as you're alive, your home will be growing and changing along with you. So continue nuding yourself and your home forward, and most importantly... HAVE FUN!


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2 Horses are SAVED with your help!

Here's the update I just received from my new heroic Horse Whisperers:

"We are still raising funds to be part of a huge team effort! The Horse Coalition is Making HISTORY!!! We have raised the funds for the perch cross and the pali mare. The mare has a good home and the perch is coming to PT. We are now raising funds for this Mroab Mare I have attached a pic.

Check out the mare at www.pthr.org.

Morab mare black approx 16/17 yr old ... She seems lost and confused as to why she is where she is and is. She is low man on the totem pole and has lost weight even because the other horses do not allow her to eat.

We are Going to KEEP Pulling! The more money we pull the more we can save! We will also look to help horses beyond help this time. If there are horses that are to far gone we will pull them and help them pass over The Rainbow Bridge. I have a BIG Update Coming With ALL the Details!! We are making history here...

Thank You to ALL The Donors! We are going to keep saving!!!"

Please consider sending your donations to this amazing organization so they can buy a THIRD horse tomorrow at the kill pen auctions.... As they said so passionately above, the more money they raise, the more horses they can save.

With love and gratitude,

Stephanie


DONATION REQUEST: Funds Needed TODAY To Save 2 Horse's Lives

I love the internet. It's the most amazing way to connect with people that we might not normally get to meet. So today I'm using this amazing medium to share some information with all of you in the hopes that we might be able to make a quick and easy difference in an animal's life.

My makeup artist's sister is a horse rescuer. I just received an email from her letting me know that she's in need of funding TODAY to save the lives of two beautiful horses which are scheduled to go to a kill buyer. Unfortunately this email reached me at the last minute, and they are looking to get donations by this evening (although any donations made after this will be forwarded to saving many other horses' lives).

If anyone is interested, even $2, $5 or $25+ will make a huge difference. I've already make my donation of $250, and they only need another $750, so with all of us pulling together, we can make a massive impact in this situation. This is the power of people coming together for a common cause. Anything is possible with passion, focus and action!

And just to let you know, finances are extremely tight for me right now as I'm sure many of you can relate to, but the good feeling of giving to someone in need far outweighs the financial challenges attached to it. Somehow the universe provides for us when we listen to that deep inner voice that calls us to action. My inner voice told me $250...and since my life motto is "Listen and Follow Directions", that's what I gave.

Donations can be made at www.pthr.org.
Join their mailing list while you're there to stay updated in ways you can support their efforts in the future.

If you cannot donate, instead consider forwarding this posting. And if funds are tight, even $2 from each person could easily mean life for these beautiful horses!

When making a donation please email horsesaverlb@aol.com and jennifer@PureThoughtsHorseRescue.com to let them know of your generous gift. I've already talked with them, and they're already in the trailer heading to the kill pens... With sufficient funding, they will be able to take these horses home tomorrow! Support these amazingly passionate people in their generous and loving efforts. We could all learn a thing or two from these people about the fulfillment experienced when we follow our hearts and passions, and act selflessly).

They will respect your privacy if you wish not to announce you name with the donation. Just let them know!

Again, Donations can be made at www.pthr.org.

Your Horse Heros:
Laura Boothby
A Stand 4 The Horses
Fundraising & Rescue Education
http://www.myspace.com/4thehorses

Friends of Fitch
http://www.myspace.com/thefightforfitch

Thanks in advance to all your amazing generosity - and please keep them in your thoughts (and pocketbook) in the days, months and years to come. If we each extended a small kindness each and every day, I believe our planet would be healed. We are all individually more powerful than we realize.... And if it's not these horses, what one thing could you do today that would make a difference in someone's life? I encourage you to take action and JUST DO IT!

With love,

Stephanie

(please consider forwarding this message out to your entire mailing list to help spread this information)

Sharpen Your Saw

Like all of you, I've found my life becoming more and more busy. And I too find it challenging to stay balanced, focused, and taking plenty of time for myself in terms of relaxation, sleep, and exercise. I was reminded of a fantastic analogy that many of you may have already heard, but it's good enough to hear over...and over...and over!

Sharpen your saw!


Yes, that's right. Sharpen your saw. Imagine your life, your goals and your dreams represented by a huge tree standing before you...and just for grins, your life's goal is to cut that huge tree down. But when we're exhausted, run down, and spread thin with to-do lists, soccer practice, emails and grocery shopping, we often become more like a rusty, dull saw than a sharp, efficient model (I've felt more like a popsicle stick on the saw-dullness scale myself lately). When we stop for a moment to take time out to recharge, reorganize and rejuvenate our spirits, it's like sharpening that rusty saw to a shining, fine point. We think clearer, we have more energy, we make better, wiser decisions, and we feel more joy. Voila! Things go more smoothly, and we find ourselves slicing effortlessly through the timber...

So after being reminded of the whole saw-sharpening theory, I took a look around. Literally and figuratively. I've spent much of the past year working round-the-clock on creating "Fun Shui", and have been so busy that, like all you fellow busy-bees out there, I'd neglected to update and care for my own space which I found was no longer reflecting my greater goals.

I was working hard. And I was telling myself I didn't have time to stop or think things through. I had work to do, and a lot of it! But this weekend I finally came to my senses and I stopped. I put everything aside and took a long hard look around.

Where is my life headed? What am I wanting to achieve in the next few years? And does my space currently speak to those greater goals? The answer was an emphatic "NO". So I sat down at my desk. I felt my chair. I looked out at the view from my seat. Was I comfortable? Focused? Inspired? All the feng shui books would tell me that my furniture placement was stellar and that I was practicing great feng shui. But I felt stressed, scattered, tense...and the view was less than calming or creative.

Then I rolled my chair to all the other spots in the room until I found one that inspired me. Suddenly I felt focused, I felt strong, I felt wonderful. Then I opened up drawers...pulled out papers... I imagined my life as I dream it could be. And I started creating a space fit for THAT woman: the future Stephanie. How would she organize? Where would she sit? What lighting would she like? What artwork would inspire?

So that's what I did. (And get this: I didn't spend a single dime!) Literally overnight I've been far more productive, forward thinking and organized than I've been in some time, and have had more great news, income opportunities and surprises in just 3 days than I've had in the past many weeks combined. Funny thing is: most things happen when I'm centered and in the flow, NOT when I'm a buzzing busy-bee. Yet probably like you, I often forget to stay in faith - faith that life is for me, not against me.
I feel good. I feel inspired. And my home FEELS amazing again--much more compatible with that wiser, truer part of myself, and where I long to be...

Now I ask YOU: in what ways can you sharpen YOUR saw? What things have you been putting off or avoiding, that you know deep down would make a world of difference in your life and those around you? What areas of your home could use some TLC? Get some paper, make a list, and jot down 3 things you could do this week that would make you fall in love with your home all over again... And if all of this sounds absolutely out of the question ("She's crazy - I don't have time to do that!"), ask that deep part of yourself what's so scary about putting down the saw and getting out the sharpening stone? What are you are afraid would happen if you did stop to tend your own inner (or outer) garden?...

Now get to work sharpening, sharpening, sharpening... and I'll meet you at the bonfire! (Bring your own wood)


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IN THE NEWS: Stephanie Eats Paint!

Fun Shui is back in the news...and Stephanie's eating paint! If you can grab yourself an actual copy, get some great candid shots of Stephanie and the Coleman family as they redecorate a nursery for children being adopted from Africa -- all using Green products. Why, the paints so healthy, it's edible! Run out and pick up a copy of Newsday, or check out the online article at:

http://www.newsday.com/features/home/ny-n5415691oct18,0,5111620.story

(The episode above will air November 2nd, so spread the word!)


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FEATURED FRIENDS: Carol Skolnick

Inquire Your Way to Internal Feng Shui
by Carol Skolnick

Feng Shui is the art of allowing and creating a clear and uplifting energy flow in the physical environment, the places where we spend time: home, office, garden. When there is a lot of clutter in the physical space, it's harder to live happily and with clarity—whether it's a garage full of useless old junk that displaces your car, a living room crowded with books and toys, or a home-office robbing your bedroom of restfulness and romance. When there is balance and beauty without, it has a positive affect on the space within, the mind and heart.

The opposite is also true. Internal clutter—old beliefs that cause stress or suffering—very often manifest as chaos in the home or workplace. A messy desk may be a symptom of a messy mind. A closet full of old clothes is a closet full of beliefs: "I may need these things someday," "If I throw things out, it means I wasted my money," or "I don't have time to deal with this."

If you find yourself reluctant to change or clear your space, you may find it helpful to do some mental housekeeping first. A simple self-inquiry technique called The Work of Byron Katie can create just the "head room" you need.

The Work is a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. That sounds lofty, but it is really very simple: the technique consists of four questions, and a "turnaround." The premise of The Work is equally simple: when we believe thoughts that are not 100% true for us, we experience stress, which affects our health, our relationships, our efficacy at work, and our creativity. When we meet our stressful thoughts with understanding, they eventually fall away as the truth, which is more compelling, comes to light. This creates a spaciousness inside that translates to a better relationship with our environment.

Here's an example of how The Work's "internal Feng Shui" works:

Belief: I may need these things someday.

Question 1: Is it true?

Yes. I might lose weight. I may need the old suit for a job interview. My husband loves his ancient sweatshirts and insists he will wear them.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know that it's true?

Well, no. I haven't fit into some of this stuff in years. George never even wears sweatshirts anymore. If I decide to look for another job, I will probably want something newer and more polished for my interviews than this out-of-style suit.

Question 3: How do you react when you believe that thought? (What happens?)

When I believe the thought, "I may need these things someday," I become nervous about cleaning out the closets. I put it off, and the closets just get more crammed. I can't find anything. I don't even know what I have. I worry about making a mistake about getting rid of things. I see my stuff as irreplacable. I fear regret and loss. I see myself arguing with my partner about his things, having to back down, and resenting him for it. I get a queasy feeling in my stomach, and I feel tired. I end up wasting time on the phone or on the internet instead of straightening up the closets. It feels like my belongings are controlling my life.

Question 4: Who would you be without this thought?

I would be calmer and more present. I would not be so attached to things. I would be grateful for the joy my things have given me, which would make it easier to let them go. I would happily donate some of my things I don't use to a thrift shop, where someone else might find them useful. I'd let myself have new clothes, and I'd be excited about updating my look. I would stay out of my husband's business, and instead collaborate with him about the closets, instead of trying to control him. I'd have a lot more energy.

Turn the thought around. What is the opposite of your original belief?

I may not need these things someday.

Is this as true or truer?

Yes, it could be just as true.

Give three genuine examples of how this turnaround is true in your experience.

So far, I have not needed the things I can't even find and don't know I have! I'm not trying to lose weight now, because I feel healthy and comfortable at my current size...so it could be a very long time before I'd need those clothes, if ever. My tastes have changed and it could be that I wouldn't want to wear my favorite old outfits even if I could fit into them again.

Now it's your turn.

Take a belief that seems to no longer serve you, the simpler the better. "There's too much to do." "My house is falling apart." "I'll never have a good relationship." "I don't have enough money." "The world isn't safe." (Have you noticed we can't just drop these stories? We can't prevent a thought from occuring. Try telling yourself not to think; "I'm not thinking" is already a thought!) Hold this belief up against the four questions and turnaround of The Work. How would you live your life differently if you could no longer believe this thought? Without the internal clutter of stressful beliefs, what solutions come to you to create spaciousness, flow, and beauty to your physical space?

To learn more about The Work, download free materials, find a Certified Facilitator, or attend an event with Byron Katie, visit TheWork.com.

___________________
Carol L. Skolnick, a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, brings this transformational inquiry to individuals and groups worldwide. To contact Carol, receive her newsletter, and check her schedule of events, visit her website: ClearLifeSolutions.com

evolvingarts

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
— Carl Jung

What if?

What if nothing was real?
What if everything was an illusion?
What if everyone was an actor in the play of your life?
And what if each and every scenario was choreographed only for your highest good?

On some very deep level, I believe this to be the case (or at least enjoy imagining this to be true).

When someone betrays me, perhaps it's just God in disguise. When someone criticizes me, perhaps that too is God. And when someone takes something from me, what if it's just God once again? The challenge come in figuring out what we're to learn from each encounter...

Earlier this evening, after showing some friends a sneak-peak at footage from my show, two made several critiques and suggestions about my future wardrobe. They spent MANY minutes sharing every thought they could muster about what I should wear, what looks best, and what colors I should consider for the future. And I got....... well....... PISSED.

Sitting on the subway ride home, I looked around at the faces. God disguised as strangers on the train. God smiling at me. God staring at me. God ignoring me. God fighting with another passenger. All sent here to hold up a mirror - for me to see my beliefs projected outward, and a chance to undo one more limiting thought so that my life (and heart) can be lighter.

Then I saw it. God disguised as wardrobe-critiquing people: here to show me where I still seek approval, here to shed light on any remaining insecurity about my own appearance, and here to shower me with another opportunity to see where I defend and separate myself from others. (But perhaps most importantly, here to shower me with constructive wardrobe advice that I obviously needed to hear!) What a gift, what a gift, what a gift.

So what if everyone that has caused you [perceived] pain was really just God in disguise? What if it's all lovingly planned so that we each learn exactly what we've come here to learn? What if we're all surrounded by nothing but angels? What if everything you encountered was nothing but GOOD.

What if?...

What if?...

What if?...

Now what will you say next time someone cuts you off in traffic?
(Say hi for me, won't you?)

It's all about love...

Love. It's the foundation of every single thing on the planet. It's the energy that we arise from. It's our nature, our core. It's who we are without our limiting beliefs.

But are you like me? Do you sometimes find it FAR too easy to find flaws in those you love? Isn't it exhileratingly painful to cut down our partner, picking apart every single microscopic way that they appear to be "less than perfect"? I've found myself holding an emotional magnifying glass up to my partner lately, at moments only choosing to see the flaws of our connection. I make a mental list of the ways I'm not getting the love I deserve. I see him as less. And it hurts...

Then a good friend of mine, who's an amazing support in my life, was telling a tale that sounded awfully familiar. She too was holding her partner to the perfection fires, and was voicing this frustration to a woman at a recent workshop she was attending. The woman turned to her after hearing this loveless tale, and asked "But how do YOU love?"

It's SO easy to get caught up in what others should be doing for us. How they should love. What they should give. Who they should be in order for us to feel fulfilled and cherished. But it is never the act of receiving love that is deeply satisfying. Yes, it feels fleetingly fabulous, I'll agree. But the deeper, exhilerating, blissful experience of GIVING love is the true gift to ourselves and others.

Ask yourself this question: What are you doing for those you love? What are you contributing to the planet? How could you make someone's day by doing the simplest of gestures? Where is it that you've forgotten the joys of giving?

Do it. And do it for the basic fact that it FEELS good to do so.

Now go put down that critical inventory list of others, even if just for 5 minutes -- long enough to batt a smile at a stranger, or give a compliment to your sweetie. Go "love-up" someone - anyone - today. You'll be glad you did (and so will they)!

"The Work" in action

Are you ready to unravel your life? Are you ready to knock down the barriers that stand between you and deep, profound happiness?

"The Work of Byron Katie" is the most profound experience I've ever encountered. I've done a LOT of work on myself in the past 2 decades, and have encountered some amazing modalities and healers, yet nothing, not even the practice of Feng Shui, has made the same impact in my life as Katie's powerful, simple process.

I need to admit something though... for the past 1-2 years I've put this process to practice very little. I've allowed myself to get swept up in my beliefs around the excitement and newness and challenge of creating a television show. And I know that this time has been perfect, because everything is always in perfect order. But just lately I felt that inner calling to take notice of the lack of peace I'm experiencing in certain parts of my life - beliefs that are creating stress around work and love that are whispering in my ear to be gently understood, explored, and unraveled on an even deeper level.

I have personally experienced deep and profound peace in my past, for extended periods of time that were magic beyond words. I know what is possible for the human spirit. Yet like anyone else, I get lost in my beliefs now and then. I continue to find areas in my life that could use some light, some love and some compassion. And since I've found such incredible peace through Byron Katie's process, I'm here to share my own process of "The Work" with you, in hopes that you and I may both experience more peace within through the journey...

"The Work" is a series of 4 questions and a turn-around that you can apply to any single belief. This is a time to get petty, and write down your true thoughts - don't try to be spiritual or wise! Also try to write simple, short statements when trying this for yourself - it will be much easier to understand at first:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you really know that it's true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without it?
* Turn Around

So let's take a look at one of my beliefs, and applying the four questions:

MEN SHOULDN'T REJECT ME BASED SOLELY ON MY APPEARANCE.

QUESTION 1: Is it true that men shouldn't reject me?
ANSWER 1: Yes. Men shouldn't reject me based on my looks... it's painful and shallow and petty. They should love me for who I am... They should see the real me and love or leave me for THAT reason only.

QUESTION 2: Is it REALLY true that men shouldn't reject me based on looks?
ANSWER 2: Well, maybe not. What is, is. On this planet, men reject women based on looks...sometimes. It's what happens.
It feels bad inside me to dictate how the world should operate, or how someone should feel about me. It feels bossy, like I'm playing God, and I feel more like a dictator. It's unkind, arrogant, and doesn't feel like my nature.

Do I even NEED an man's approval? Would I die if I were alone? Would I crumble if a man rejected me again? I'm pretty sure I'd keep breathing.... I'm pretty sure I'd keep moving forward... My happiness isn't dependent on anything outside myself.

And can I really know that someone has ever rejected me based solely on my looks? Often times it definitely LOOKED like I was being rejected for that reason. Sometimes they even TOLD me that. But I'll never know what goes on inside someone else's head or know their true motivations... All I know is, when I have rejected someone in my past, it's been because of fear or insecurity on my part. So perhaps it's the same with some men. I can't know...

And who's business is it who they reject? Theirs. Who's business is it who I choose to "reject"? Mine. When I get into someone else's business, I hurt. I'm outside myself...and it's lonely.

So all this being said, no... I can't know that men shouldn't reject me. Maybe, just maybe, it's not true....

QUESTION 3: How do I react when I hold the belief that men shouldn't reject me for my looks?
ANSWER 3: I feel insecure. I act phony. I try to be something I'm not. I try to look a certain way, and then don't feel like myself, but rather an actress. It feels unnatural, and uncomfortable. I don't give some men the benefit of the doubt that they could actually love me for myself, or find me attractive as I am. I doubt their motives. I don't trust them when they say they love me. I hide, protect myself from rejection by not putting myself "out there". I approach men with the belief that they could hurt me, so there's usually a distancing that happens. It's lonely... fearful... untrusting.... I feel deep down that I'm not good enough as I am.

QUESTION 4: Who would I be without the thought that men shouldn't reject me based on my looks?
ANSWER 4: I'd have an open heart. I'd love them, no matter what. I'd be more compassionate, even if they reject me. I'd feel strong, secure, loving and powerful in front of a man. I'd be happy, with or without a man. I'd feel sexy, beautiful and worthy at every moment. I would feel connected, intimate and loving with all men. I wouldn't think about how I looked, but rather would be thinking about THEM instead. I wouldn't feel needy or clingy or insecure, but rather, lovingly unattached. And I'd feel GREAT about running all over town naked! (laugh)

TURN-AROUND 1: Men SHOULD reject me.
(Turn-arounds are just a way to try on the opposite of what we've been thinking. Often times, you will find that the turn-arounds are as true, if not truer, than the original belief. Also, quite often you will find more than 1 turn-around for a statement, as show below)
TURN-AROUND 1 RESPONSE: How do I know men should reject me? They do... sometimes. When I say that anything outside myself should be other than it is, I'm going to lose. ALWAYS. Things happen as they happen. When we oppose this, we get pain. Pain is a brilliant indicator that we're attached to a lie, or a belief that simply isn't true for us. In those moments, we're going against what is, and it always hurts.

And perhaps I NEEDED men to reject me based on my looks. Perhaps that's my path. Maybe that's been my opportunity to grow and find God. It has allowed me over the years to love myself and others on a deeper, less-superficial level. Through rejection, I now love people for their hearts, not their looks. I don't allow physical things to come between my connection and love for others. In hindsight, these situations have been amazing gifts that have made me who I am today -- a learning opportunity I wouldn't take back if I could, no matter how painful they were in the moment.

TURN-AROUND 2: I shouldn't reject men because of looks.
TURN-AROUND 2 RESPONSE: This belief is for ME to live, not anyone else. Our individual belief systems are OUR own unique prescriptions for happiness. It is for me to learn to love people unconditionally, not others. Every belief in my head is for ME to follow. They are my rules for happiness...period. Where can I learn to love people less superficially? How can I be a teacher to others of how to love, regardless of looks?

By taking this in deeply, and living it myself, it has brought me my wonderful boyfriend who thinks I'm the cat's meow! I'm tall, he's short. I'm more of a "yuppie" and he's got long hair and rides a motorcycle. I'm into health food, and he's into burgers and fries. Would I have been so open to our differences if it hadn't been for my perceived "rejections" by men? We'll never know...

TURN-AROUND 3: I shouldn't reject me based solely on my appearance.
TURN-AROUND 3 RESPONSE: If I don't want men to reject me, how about I try it first? I reject me (in my mind) all day long. Somehow I think it should be easy to love regardless of my looks, but I can't seem to do it with my very own self!!! How about I learn to love my looks unconditionally, and THEN go dictate this belief to all men around the planet!

I'm humbled when I see that I have everything in common with the men who have "rejected" me in the past. We BOTH can't seem to accept my looks! (smile) So let the work begin with me. Let ME learn to love ME unconditionally. And if I figure that out in this lifetime, I probably will feel so full and complete that it won't matter if EVERY person rejects me on the planet! I'll be free to love others the way I had been trying to get them to love me. It's the act of loving that feels so good, not the receiving of it. I can live as an example of unconditional love. I can finally be a true teacher...

As Katie often says... "If I had a prayer, it would be: Please God, spare me from the desire to receive love, approval or acceptance. Amen." Desiring love is painful. Giving love is where the beauty lies.

TURN-AROUND 4: My thinking shouldn't reject me based solely on my appearance.
(Replacing "my thinking" in the turn-around stage can often times be helpful. It can take the statement to another level of exploration... )
TURN-AROUND 4 RESPONSE: My thinking is the only problem in this situation. Without the thought that people should find me attractive, I am neutral... able to stand in front of them, "thoughtless", open and loving. Without my attachment to this belief, there is no pain, no suffering... just peace and love. Thoughts are neutral until I attach to them... When I believe my thoughts, I'm in pain.

There are many more levels of doing "The Work" which we can explore at another time. For more information and background on "The Work of Byron Katie", as well as a free downloadable worksheet, go to www.THEWORK.com. You can also go to YouTube and watch the many samples posted there of her process in action. Also, please write if you'd like me to send you audio samples of "The Work" - I have thousands of examples, and would be more than happy to share them with any of you...

If any of you would like to try doing "The Work", please email your writings to me. If you get stuck, just ask. And if you would be open to me posting them here, let me know. They can be a great tool for others...

With lots of love,

Stephanie

When Food is Love

It seems as if every woman I talk to has some sort of disconnect surrounding food. Heck, even some of my male friends seem to be affected as well. Whether thin or curvy, older or younger, food seems to have an interesting hold on many of our hearts. Also let me remind you that I write each and every one of these articles for myself and my own healing. I write what I'm learning about, right along side you. We're in this together, this dance through life. We're all teachers and students, often at the same time.

So, back to food.... Food is always there for us. It's always comforting. And ALWAYS delicious! Yet this is only true when we eat the amounts our bodies want, when our bodies want it. Overeating seems like a good idea in the moment, but that's only in the moment. In the long run it's more like a bad boyfriend. It promises the world, only to let you down in the end. You give up everything for him... your time, your thoughts, your body, your health only to be slapped and abused by low self-image, tight clothes, debt, spiritual starvation and a slew of weight-related health issues. So is food REALLY love? Can food ever fill our spirits, or give us a full, loving, satisfying life? I think not. But how in the world can we remember this when food seems to have such a strong pull?

I believe that we can use any challenge, struggle, or addiction as a pathway to spiritual freedom. I'm using my own struggles with food as a way to powerfully connect me to God. When I can shift my focus onto my feeling of connection, and off of food, I gain something more filling than words can describe, and less pounds on the hips in return. Finding that very personal connection to God comes in different forms, down different paths. That's for you to explore on your own.

But solely in terms of food, since it's a hard vice to avoid altogether, here are 10 tips that might be just the reminder to snap you back into reality and help you once and for all break up with that no-good lover, overeating. If you're ready to break up, try on one or more of the following, and hopefully try on a smaller dress size as well:

1. Eat when you're hungry.
The body was built perfectly to desire food when it needs it, and only then. Following your internal, natural cues is the simplest way to honor yourself , your life and your family.

2. Eat whatever your body is calling for.
Allow yourself to eat what you're desiring. Deprivation only leads to binges. As Geneen Roth so wisely says "For every diet there is an equal and opposite binge". It's one of the biggest laws of the universe. Your body is wise beyond measure - if you can learn to listen to it, it will know exactly what nutrients it needs. It may take you time to differentiate between head and body hunger: one comes from all the years of deprivation, the other is softer, wiser and comes from a vast internal knowing that always directs you perfectly to balance and health. Whether it's pizza or pineapple, kale or cookies, let the wise inner voice do the choosing, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

3. Make eating a sacred occasion.
I light a candle before my meals. I eat at the table, sometimes enjoying some relaxing music. Honor yourself and your body with a lovely environment. Creating a ritual to begin your meals, such as lighting a candle, can separate and distinguish your meals from the rest of your day, and establish a quiet sacredness to the act of eating. You deserve that!

4. Eat in silence or to soothing music.
How many of you eat in front of the TV? Or eat in frenetic, stressful home environments? Or at busy office desks? Give yourselves the gift of a pleasant, focused environment. I know for myself, this was one of the TOUGHEST ones to embrace. I was terrified to be alone with my thoughts and to be faced with the obvious disconnect I felt around food. But there's no time like the present to undo this habit, face your fears and do it anyway. Once you shine a light on your dark thoughts around food and meet them with love and understanding, they vanish in a puff of smoke. Be gentle with yourself... It's time to take a bite out of this fear of silence, and instead take a bite out of some delicious food!

5. Get the best quality available when you can.
Depending on your financial and environmental circumstances, start looking for the best quality food available to you. Last night I learned this lesson again for myself. I wanted vegetable stir-fry, but the only vegetables available were rubbery, waxy and lighter in color than normal. I could have taken the time to run in to a store around the street from my home, but I didn't. Cutting up the vegetables, I could tell they were lifeless. And once cooked, they tasted about as good as they looked. Ug. Then, to top it off, I also treated myself by buying a container of green tea ice cream. But I didn't get the brand I really wanted... something that looked decadent and rich and more expensive. I went with the simpler brand. At the end of my meal, I took a spoonful of ice cream and almost did a spit-take across the dining room table.
Before, I would have eaten it, regardless of how badly it tasted, and my desire to save money ended up costing me a pint of green tea ice cream sitting upside down in my trashcan. But now I'm enjoying buying less, but buying better quality foods. I enjoy good dark chocolate. I enjoy gourmet cheeses. I enjoy fresh-baked breads. I enjoy locally grown foods. They say we are what we eat, and I find this to be true. Does it feel good eating meats that come from sad and unhealthy animals who spend tortured lives in small cages? Can we tell the difference between canned vegetables vs. a beautiful green bouquet of fresh collard greens? It's not to say that we should spend more than we have. But within our limits, what's the best, most delicious choice we can make?

6. Chew.
Remember, your stomach can't taste anything -- only your tongue has taste buds. So why not savor the flavor of what you're eating? Let the food melt and fill your entire mouth. When you're eating what your body's calling for, and eating when you're hungry, everything will taste so much better. And there's a side benefit to chewing. When you chew your food, it mixes with the saliva in your mouth, helping your stomach to better break down the contents of your meal. If you chew, and chew well, you'll get tons more energy from the food itself, pull out lots of vital vitamins and minerals, experience less digestive troubles and eat much less. When you take the time to slow down and chew, your body gets the time it needs to begin the digestive process and give your body the signal that it's filling up. This process takes about 20 minutes. So if your tendency is to overeat, slowing down gives you the time to listen to your own internal fullness signal. It also helps stretch out a delicious meal so you've got more time to savor the flavors!

7. Have Gratitude.
If we have issues surrounding food and eating, it stems from our disconnect from God and a deep self-hatred. Turning our attentions toward our connection to the Universe and all that's magical sets a very different tone than our normal focus on food. Experiencing gratitude throughout our lives, especially with food, is an amazing experience. It helps us to enjoy the food, but not worship it. This fixation and worship of food in the past has gotten us nothing but pain. But if we can shit our fixation and worship to something much greater, we'll feel full in a way that we may have never known. And then food can take it's place in our life... simply as something to be enjoyed and fuel our bodies, but nothing more. Some of us have given our power over to food. But at your next meal, how about approaching the plate with humble gratitude? How amazing a gift to have such great food, a roof over our heads, and air to breath. The basics of life, and we've go 'em! Appreciating and honoring the simple things in our lives can expand our hearts, allowing more and more magic to flood in. Now THAT'S yummy!

8. Have fun!
Watch a child eat. Just watch them! They touch, rub, smush, mash, swirl and twirl their food. When's the last time YOU did this? When's the last time you lost all etiquette and juggled grapes or made smiley faces in your mashed potatoes? How did eating get so serious for us adults? Couldn't this world, in all areas, use a little lightening up? Imagine what the world might be like if George Bush played "airplane" with his green beans... and just imagine how things would be if all our world leaders built tee pees with their pancakes... Today, promise me that you will be silly. Downright childish. Life's too short to take something like food so seriously!

9. Share with a friend.
Throughout the centuries, food has been a focal point when coming together with one's we love. Celebrate your relationships by sharing a meal. People in our lives are precious. And food is precious. So bring two yummy things together and cherish all life's abundance with a good friend and a good meal.

10. Stop when you're full.
Yes, that's right... STOP. And that's the tough part, which is why I saved it for last. I've spent a lifetime on this piece of the puzzle, and it can be a challenge for sure. But there's nothing more satisfying (no pun intended) than to walk away from a meal feeling comfortably full and energized. Honor your body and all it's done for you by not stuffing it to the gills. Never you fear - you'll be hungry again in no time, and you can enjoy another meal of whatever foods you desire. Fill yourself up with love, passion and a deepening spiritual life.

And if you find that all the above suggestions fall flat for you, or seem to be insurmountable obstacles, try looking into The Work of Byron Katie (www.thework.org) which can help you deal with the beliefs that come up that are getting in the way of your success. Once these blocks in your belief system are moved aside, you can more easily move forward and make positive shifts in your life.

We'll continue this topic of food and body image over the coming months. Any suggestions, questions, or requests surrounding this topic, please post them here and we will cover them in future "My Cup of Chi" postings.

Here's to your heart's true nourishment!

Stephanie

What's slowing YOU down?

Have you taken a fearless inventory of your life lately? When you imagine living your greatest possibility, what do you see? And what current behaviors and patterns are incompatible with that desired image?

For myself, my biggest stumbling block & drain on my energy would be my relationship with food. It's my addiction, without a doubt. So what's yours? What's your vice? It could be as dramatic as alcohol, or as subtle as being addicted to emails or gossip. And if your first reaction is... "I'm not addicted to anything!", think again. I've yet to meet a human being that wasn't addicted to SOMETHING.

So, I'm addicted to food. For me, overeating and not listening to my body's natural sense of hunger and fullness is a way of not dealing with uncomfortable, underlying feelings, a way of protecting myself from my hypersensitivity to my environment, a means of self-sabotage, and a way of keeping me acting like a child. Now, at one point in our lives these vices have served a purpose. But as adults, especially in this day and age when I believe our transformation as a collective is so deserately important, we don't have time to be children any longer. As a whole, we've simply got to GROW UP! It's time. And it starts within each one of us. For me, I need to step up to the plate, take a deep breath and bravely face life and situations differently than before. It's time to feel my feelings, exploring my internal computer and reboot if necessary.

How do YOU want to take this trip? For me, I want it to rest easy on my deathbed knowing that I lived fully, honestly, lovingly and bravely. How about you? What do YOU want to look back on when you're on your own death bed? Sorry if this sounds a bit morbid, but it's a very important question - and much easier to ask now, than once we're already lying on it.

To live the life of my dreams, my relationship with food obviously needs closer examining. It's an area where I lose my connection to God. I feel hollow, spiritually hungry, and self-absorbed around the area of food. It's lonely, dark, and desperate. But some of you might say, "Stephanie, you're the thinnest you've ever been!". Yet my weight and my peace with food have nothing to do with one another. Pain is pain, whether someone else can see it or not. Yes, granted, it's far smaller and quieter than it was years ago. But that is unimportant. Even if it's the size of a pinhead, if I'm losing my power in that area, it's worth exploring.

Where do YOU lose your spirit? What areas of your life could use a little TLC? What patterns would have to shift in order for you to live the life of your dreams? (Pick only one for now - we have a tendency to overwhelm ourselves to sabotage our efforts, so make it simple so you can see tangible results).

For seven weeks now I've made it my highest goal to find peace around food. I'm eating when I'm hungry, eating exactly what my body is calling for, and stopping when I'm full. It's exhillerating and painful all at the same time. I'm realizing that I've never been "normal" with food in 36 years. I'm noticing that there is a lot of stress in my thinking that the food was covering up. I'm realizing even more deeply the impact my food addiction was having on my life and how amazing things can be in the future if this burden was lifted. I'm turning the struggle over to something higher. I'm giving my connection to God instead of the food. And I'm dealing with the feelings that are left. I've made a pact to the Universe that I will do everything in my power to live my greatest possibility.

So when you take a fearless inventory of your life, what stands out to you? What needs healing within you? What area in your life, hidden or not, dims your amazing internal light? And what's keeping you from living YOUR greatest possibility?

There's never been a better time to change your life. The planet needs you. Your country needs you. Your community and family needs you. YOU need you. Now's the time to be the best you can possibly be...

Just Listen & Follow Directions

Life is basically a pretty simple process. But somehow when human beings get involved, we have the urge to complicate everything!

The body is created to feel hunger — it's a simple sign that it's time to eat. Our body feels fullness — that's how we know to stop.

Same goes for thirst, sleep, and on down the line. Yet sometimes these messages can get a bit subtle. But if we're honest with ourselves, don't we get messages all the time?

"Wash the dishes".
"Brush our teeth".
"Slow down".
"Stop and pick up that trash".
"Call your friend".
"Quit your job".

If we just learned to pay attention to the small, soft little voice within us, it will gladly guide our lives in an effortless, easy, miraculous way. Where this voice comes from, who's to say. Perhaps it's "God", or perhaps it's just the wiser inner part of ourselves, or it's a message from somewhere else... Regardless, I've found this voice to have wisdom beyond what my ego and personality could ever hope to have. But boy, listening up and following these directions is another story! Whew...

How many of you feel as I do sometimes: That you have lost control of your own spirit and find it challenging to listen to your inner guide? Are you frustrated when you KNOW to do something, but you simple don't do it?

Today let's play together and support one another as we practice listening and following directions. We do this by humbling ourselves, simplifying our lives, and give our path and purpose over to something much greater.

I'll admit, my ego fights this all the time. But when I do show up and just listen, miracles occur. I turn left instead of right at a familiar corner, and run into a long-lost friend.... I pick up the phone and call a friend, only to receive an inside tip on a dream-job becoming available... I get the feeling to wash the dishes, only to find out that a relative is about to come over for an unexpected visit...

We make life so much harder than it has to be. Myself included. But what if we just listen and follow directions today? What if instead of going to the gym, we work on our "listening" muscle instead? The more use it gets, the stronger it grows and the louder it sounds. Our lives in turn will run as effortlessly as a river stream, bending, turning and flowing through life's amazing landscape.

Share what you accomplish today, big or small, in terms of listening up, and may the force be with you!

Chi-Upper:

" Live every day like it's your last
—cause one day you're gonna be right. "

Ray Charles

Chi-Upper...

"All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible."
—T.E. Lawrence

When It Comes to You, Do It!

Do you ever get a little gut feeling about something? Do you ever hear a little voice inside, urging you to make a move, make a change, take an action or simply pick up the phone and call your Aunt Linda?...

And have you ever had the experience of NOT listening to that wise inner chatter? Have you ever kicked yourself saying "I KNEW I should have done that... Why, I was just thinking about doing that just the other day!". Many people can relate to this. I sure can.

I've come to believe and trust that there's an internal guidance system at work inside all of us. Some of us are just tuned to a clearer frequency where we can hear the messages a bit louder, and surely clearer. But others of us have some much alternate chatter and garbage filling up our minds, it would be impossible to hear our own inner guidance over the roaring motor of our chattery brains.

What I've also come to know for myself, is that each time I'm able to listen to my own inner wisdom, it somehow seems to get stronger and louder. Like a muscle that you train at the gym - over time it can become a sleek, powerful, efficient tool. Same goes for the inner voice.

So now when I walk down the street, and I get the feeling to pick up a piece of paper or candy wrapper, I just do it. And not to save the environment or to be a good person. But just because it FEELS good to listen to this inner wisdom. I hurt myself when I don't follow my own rules.

Just the other day, I was running a bit late for a lunch date. I passed a woman on the street who reached out and asked me for some money so she could feed her little boy. Being late for my appointment, and definitely not in my body, I acknowledged her but kept walking quickly to my appointment. But even over my stress about being late, I could feel that very familiar feeling in my gut - telling me loud and clear to stop for a moment and share what I had with this woman. There was no denying the message. As I continued down the street my stomach clenched, and I knew I'd gone against my own wisdom. And NOT because I have a belief that I need to save this woman, or help every homeless person. It has nothing to do with that. But has EVERYTHING to do with trusting and following my own internal directions. I do these things because it makes me FEEL good. And life goes smoothly when I do so.

When I got to the end of the block, I stopped. I dug through my purse and pulled out ever bill I had with me. I clenched them in my fist and turned around to give what I had to the woman and child. But it was too late... they were no where to be seen. I'd missed my chance. They were long gone. And I've felt rather icky about that situation ever since.

Sometimes when we don't act immediately when there's the impulse to do so, opportunities fade. Getting good at listening to your instincts and taking action can make you very fluid, agile and abundant, not to mention just feeling so gosh-darn good!

It makes life quite simple, actually. All I do now is follow directions. I wait for the little whisper, and then take action. I've found that's literally all I have to do. Every detail of my life is taken care of for me. I just have to show up and do what I'm told. Sound a bit weird? I can understand why - we've been trained to control our environments, make things happen, push forward and pave our own paths. But I've found that by "following directions", I get even better results than anything my ego could dictate. There's a more brilliant plan laid out for me than I could ever hope to come up with. I'm not that smart - I'm definitely not God.

I'll readily admit that I'm not perfect at this yet. I don't do this all the time (as I shared above). But boy, I suffer when I don't. I must admit, I'm quite enjoying trusting that the Universe will provide. It's comforting, and the results couldn't be more spectacular, in my experience.

So where can you fine-tune your instincts? Where can you take a few steps towards listening to your guy feelings?

• Picking up trash?
• Making a phone call when someone pops into your mind?
• Turning left, instead of right? (or vice versa, of course!)
• Taking a course in something totally unrelated to your field / following a new life path or passion?
• Saying something kind to someone or giving a hand when you get the urge to do so?
• Changing your schedule if some other task or errand comes to mind?
• And any of a million other things your mind can whisper to you!

Life can be quite magical when we just show up and follow directions. Report back your results — I'd love to hear your inspiring stories! You may only be left with the thought "Boy, why didn't anybody tell me it was this easy when I was a kid?!"

Happy "Listening"!

©2007 Stephanie McWilliams